Tag Archives: one liners

Joan Rivers: Beauty is Skin Deep!

Can we talk? Joan Rivers at her best: I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. The first time … Continue reading

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These Are In Tents: Corny Camping One Liners

If you’re not in New York, you’re camping out.  Thomas E. Dewey
 I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call “indoorsy”… My wife always brings up, “Camping’s a tradition in my family.” Hey, … Continue reading

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11 Amazing Coco Chanel Quotes

Wow. Could not stop at 10! May my legend prosper and thrive. I wish it a long and happy life. Nothing goes out of fashion sooner than a long dress with a very low neck. A fashion that does not … Continue reading

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Bob Hope: Comedic Centarian!

I consider Bob Hope to be an expert on aging. Not only did he live to celebrate his 100th birthday, he was still able to crack jokes up until he died. Anne and I both have birthdays this month. Yes, … Continue reading

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Steven Wright-The New King of One Liners

This guy always makes me laugh….after a double take. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. The early bird gets the worm, but the … Continue reading

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One Liners About Toys From My Favorite Comedians

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Woody Allen Little girls love dolls. … Continue reading

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One Liners About Politicians!

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. Groucho Marx I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government. Woody … Continue reading

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Red Skelton’s Take on Marriage

Ouch! I sure hope Red Skelton’s wife had a sense of humor! I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said,”Dust!” My wife told me the car … Continue reading

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Getting Older is Getting Better? Really?

Well aging is certainly a deep well of humor!  By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. Billy Crystal We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had … Continue reading

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Jack Benny One Liners

Jack Benny was known for his dry wit. He often punctuated his stand up show with short riffs from his ubiquitous violin. Here are some of my favorites: Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t … Continue reading

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