Tag Archives: comedians

A Dozen Funny Quotes About Mothers

When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway. Erma Bombeck I told my mother-in-law that my house … Continue reading

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Quotes for Dog Lovers

I’ve been knee deep in dogs lately and loving it (they are sleeping right now). Here’s a apt lines about dogs from some of my favorite funny people: You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog … Continue reading

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Happy Fourth of July! A Few Funny Quotes

I came across a few funny quotes about the 4th of July while I was looking for a new potato salad recipe. Enjoy! Dear America, Happy Independence Day and thanks for running the world since we retired (China wants the … Continue reading

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Have A Very Merry Christmas: 7 Funny Quotes

I stopped believing in Santa when my mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked  for my autograph. Shirley Temple Next to a circus there aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than … Continue reading

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Pucker Up, Buttercup! A Few Funny Quotes about Marriage

Erma Bombeck once said about marriage,”He who laughs, lasts.” Yep. Here’s a few funny quotes to help you get through the day laughing: Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts. Jeff Foxworthy Marriage is the only … Continue reading

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Which New Years Resolution is Always in the Top Ten?

Quitting smoking!!!! It is so easy to toss that pack of cigarettes after you’ve had a bottle of champagne, a pound of turkey and endless chocolates. All you want to do is go to bed. Once morning comes and you … Continue reading

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What is the Second Most Common New Year’s Resolution?

You probably guessed it-Exercise! It certainly seems like a good idea after 5 glasses of champagne. Do any of these quotes caption how you feel about exercise on January 2nd? My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. Phyllis … Continue reading

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What is the Number One News Year’s Resolution?

Dieting! Here’s what a few of our favorite comedians have to say about that well-worn topic: The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook. Julia Child My wife is a light eater. … Continue reading

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Funny Christmas Quotes

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin. Jay Leno Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. … Continue reading

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Comedians on Santa Claus

Here’s some Ho Ho Ho for your holiday season: Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. Gary Allan There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa … Continue reading

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