Tag Archives: college

Dentists! Take These Without Novocain!

Warning: Only mock your dentist behind his back! Remember “Marathon Man”? What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque. Wife: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?Husband: I don’t know. The dentist kept it. What did the tooth … Continue reading

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College Graduation Quotes

Know someone who is graduating from college this year? Not only will they be getting a nice diploma but they’ll be getting lots of advice. Here’s some pearls of wisdom I thought were particularly appropriate: To those of you who … Continue reading

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Erma Bombeck- Oh Mother!

Erma Bombeck always saw the humor in the everyday mishaps of family life! Never have more children than you have car windows. All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with … Continue reading

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Financial Funnies: Banker Jokes

Who ever said bankers don’t have a sense of humor? Oh wait, these jokes are ABOUT bankers, not written BY bankers. Never mind. How does one make a million dollars in the stock market? Start with two million dollars! What’s … Continue reading

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Knock Knock! Who’s There? Bacon. Bacon Who?

Bacon a cake for your birthday! Knock Knock! Who’s there? Omelet. Omelet who? Omelet smarter than I look! Knock Knock! Who’s there? Ice Cream Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost Knock Knock! Who’s there? Doughnut. … Continue reading

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Decoding Real Estate Ad Terms

Ah the spring! As soon as the first daffodil blooms, the open houses begin. Here’s a helpful guide to deciphering those flowery real estate ads: Rustic Charm- snakes under the porch Build Sweat Equity – house is not inhabitable Quiet … Continue reading

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Remembering George Carlin on Earth Day

Who could forget George Carlin singing this: “Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to … Continue reading

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Nancy Drew and Nick Nickerson Call it Quits after 60 Years

Teenage sweethearts, Nancy Drew and Nick Nickerson have decided to separate after 60 years of courtship. A spokesperson for Ms Drew claimed the split was amicable and cited irreconcilable differences. A source close to Mr. Nickerson hinted that Nancy’s relationship … Continue reading

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What Does An Accountant Do to Liven Up a Party?

Not show up! OUCH! Well. I’m guessing by these jokes that accountants are not know for their senses of humor. Come on, CPA’s! Prove me wrong! When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he realizes that he … Continue reading

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5 Great Quotes About College

Sigh! Spent most of my time at college counting the days until I graduated. Looking back…those were fun times! Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.Mark Twain College is a refuge from hasty judgment.Robert Frost College is a … Continue reading

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