Tag Archives: care packages

Cupid’s Pre-Valentine’s Day To Do List

1. Buy spare pair of Spanx 2. Bleach new diaper 3. Dry clean wings 4. Dermatologist’s appt to have mole removed from butt 5. Order case of liquid Viagra from Pfizer 6. Call to make full body wax appointment 7. Confirm interview with … Continue reading

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Dribble Glasses: In Search of the Perfect Prank

Lab Notes: A dribble glass is an seemingly innocent glass with tiny, virtually undectectable holes in the sides, usually covered by etchings or painted designs. When an unsuspecting victim drinks from this glass, liquid dribbles down his chin and hilarity … Continue reading

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How to Treat A Vampire Bite

Years ago Alex Berg was temporarily unemployed and he wrote and wrote and wrote. Thanks for this post, Alex! Each year, nearly 8,000 people receive vampire bites in the United States. Even a bite from a so-called “harmless” vampire (or … Continue reading

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Ssssssuper Ssssssilly Snake Jokes

Why not send these to your buddy who loves to go camping? What do you do if you find a poisonous snake in your toilet? Wait for it to finish! What do you get if you cross a snake with … Continue reading

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Spring Fever Cases Spike in March

The Health Advocates Hypochondria Association (HAHA) announced last Friday that they anticipate a surge in Spring Fever diagnoses. The following are some of the most common signs of Spring Fever: Are you sweating profusely after exercising? Do you feel chilled … Continue reading

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Pregnancy-It’s No Joke!

Know someone who is pregnant? These might be good for a belly laugh or two: I’m 2 months pregnant now. When will my baby move? If you are lucky right after he finishes college! Is there any reason I need … Continue reading

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Money-Saving Tips From Manny, The Frugal Pterosaur

Thank you Alex Berg for this entertaining post! Hi everybody! Manny the Frugal Pterosaur here- have you been looking for a way to make your dollars stretch a little further? Perhaps you want to squeeze a few extra pennies out … Continue reading

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Knock Knock! Who’s There? Madam! Madam Who?

Madam who? Madam foot got caught in the door! I hope you knew how that classic knock knock joke ended! Here’s a few you might not have heard: Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anyone want to let … Continue reading

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That Frosty is One Funny Guy: Snowman Jokes

I heard these from Frosty himself (What a flake!): What do you call an old snowman? Water! What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes! How does one snowman greet another snowman? Ice to meet you! What did one snowman … Continue reading

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Pucker Up! 6 Classic Quotes About Hockey

The three important elements in hockey are: the forecheck, the backcheck and the paycheck. Gilbert Perreault All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. Gordie Howe I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game … Continue reading

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