Tag Archives: Alex Berg

Practical Uses For Super Powers: Ant-man

From our super hero expert, Alex Berg: Ant-Man, for those of you who don’t know, is able to shrink to the size of an ant. The following are suggested practical uses for this extraordinary power: Building ships in bottles Extracting … Continue reading

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Alexander The Great Struggles With The Gordian Knot

Think you’ve got problems? Remember this tale from Classics 101? Check out this post from Alex Berg (c. 2006): C’mon, Alexander… You’ve done tougher stuff than this. Remember when dad died, and all those city-states rebelled? You settled that matter, and, … Continue reading

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How to Treat A Vampire Bite

Years ago Alex Berg was temporarily unemployed and he wrote and wrote and wrote. Thanks for this post, Alex! Each year, nearly 8,000 people receive vampire bites in the United States. Even a bite from a so-called “harmless” vampire (or … Continue reading

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Telling Friend About New Boyfriend Who Works on Manhattan Project Without Spilling Classified Info

Well, I met MP while I was on a camping trip in New Mexico. I just love the southwest so much, and I needed some “me time” to recover from the whole Jon affair- criminy, he’s an unreasonable man. Thank … Continue reading

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The Horsehead Nebula’s Plea

Thanks Alex Berg , c. 2006, for this fine post. Hey… IAU? International Astronomer’s Union? Can you hear me? It’s me… The Horsehead Nebula… Look I just wanted to ask… Well… Could you please give me a new nickname…. Anything … Continue reading

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Video Guide to Pool Party Etiquette

Just in time for your next shindig: Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages and gifts. Video thanks to UCB Comedy. Yes, my son is in this. Guess which one he is. photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/9406889@N04/2650076782″>The Boys … Continue reading

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Preamble to An Eruption by Alex Berg

Declaration Of Eruption Despite my prior record of volcanic dormancy, the subduction of the convergent plate boundary upon which I am stationed has resulted in an abnormal lithospheric pressure differential which shall be remedied during the week of January 8th, … Continue reading

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A Horseshoe Crab’s Lament

Look at her over there, on the bottom of the mating heap… She’s gorgeous. I’ll bet that not a single one of the two dozen jerks crowding around her has any idea how special she is. They don’t care about … Continue reading

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Memorial Day Agenda of A Raincloud by a Very Young Alex Berg

Oh boy- looks like a nice day out, huh? Partly sunny, not too hot. About 75 degrees. Breezy. Seems like this Memorial Day parade’s gonna go off without a hitch, doesn’t it? I can hear the Fairfield High School marching … Continue reading

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All The King’s Horses and All The King’s Men Customer Service Survey As Completed by Humpty Dumpty

Yep. Alex Berg, 2006. This really cracked me up!!! Dear Mr. Dumpty- It has come to the attention of All The King’s Horses And All The King’s Men that you have recently contacted our help center. It is our goal … Continue reading

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