Category Archives: Uncategorized

How Many Politicians Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

Wow. So many answers to the age old question, “How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?” Here are some of my favorites: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Four, one to change … Continue reading

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Unbearable Grizzly Bear Jokes

In honor of “The Revenant” What do grizzly bears call mountain bike riders? Meals on wheels! What did the grizzly bear say when he saw some campers in sleeping bags? Yum! Hot Pockets! Why don’t grizzly bears like fast food? … Continue reading

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Getting Educated-Quotes About Learning

The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled. Plutarch Education is no substitute for intelligence. Frank Herbert You can never be overdressed or overeducated. Oscar Wilde Education is the ability to listen to … Continue reading

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April Fools Day Jokes

Why did the April fool get fired from working at the M& M factory? He threw out all the W’s! Why do April fools wear ear muffs? To avoid the draft! Why did the April fool stare at the can … Continue reading

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One Dozen Grade A [Easter] Egg Jokes!

How do comedians like their eggs? Funny side up! What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker! What day do eggs hate most? Fry-day! What sport are the eggs good at? Running! Why does everyone think the chef … Continue reading

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Happy Birthday to Me!

As I get ready to celebrate another birthday-and this one is a biggie-I’m repeating this quote by Pablo Picasso over and over: “It takes a very long time to become young.” Enough said! I’m going outside to play! Mirth in … Continue reading

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Grade A Chicken Jokes

All Eggcellent! What do you call a crazy chicken? A cuckoo cluck! What did the rooster do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken? He kicked the bucket! What do chickens serve at their birthday parties? Coopcakes! How do … Continue reading

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Horray for Hollywood! Quotes from the Stars

The only reason I’m in Hollywood is that I don’t have the moral courage to refuse the money. Marlon Brando In Hollywood if you don’t have a shrink, people think you’re crazy. Johnny Carson I never go out unless I … Continue reading

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Jokes About Mice: EEEEEEK!

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse! What does a twenty pound mouse say to a cat? ‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty!’ What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code! … Continue reading

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Chris Rock, Oscar Host- Very Quotable, Indeed!

Chris Rock will be the host of this year’s Oscars. I might even watch the whole show! Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing. Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they … Continue reading

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