Category Archives: One Liners

Great zingers from some kings and queens of comedy!

Bob Hope: Comedic Centarian!

I consider Bob Hope to be an expert on aging. Not only did he live to celebrate his 100th birthday, he was still able to crack jokes up until he died. Anne and I both have birthdays this month. Yes, … Continue reading

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One Liners About Toys From My Favorite Comedians

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Woody Allen Little girls love dolls. … Continue reading

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One Liners About Politicians!

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. Groucho Marx I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government. Woody … Continue reading

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PG Jokes to Send to Your Kid at Summer Camp

Have you sent your child off to summer camp? Are you feeling guilty that you are enjoying the quiet house? Need to send you camper some letters but can’t think of what to say (other than how much fun you … Continue reading

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Jack Benny One Liners

Jack Benny was known for his dry wit. He often punctuated his stand up show with short riffs from his ubiquitous violin. Here are some of my favorites: Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t … Continue reading

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Erma Bombeck- Oh Mother!

Erma Bombeck always saw the humor in the everyday mishaps of family life! Never have more children than you have car windows. All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with … Continue reading

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Remembering George Carlin on Earth Day

Who could forget George Carlin singing this: “Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to … Continue reading

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Jonathan Winters Quotes

Jonathan Winters could always make me laugh. I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.  God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants. Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than … Continue reading

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Henny Youngman: King of the One Liner

Did you know that Henny Youngman’s comedy career began while working in a NYC print shop? He wrote scores of “comedy cards”-cards that had one line gags printed on them. Youngman is known best for telling a series of rapid … Continue reading

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Phyllis Diller on Motherhood

94-year-old Phyllis Diller didn’t start her career in comedy until she was in her late 30’s. Raising 6 children gave her plenty of material. Here are a few of Diller’s observations on her days as a housewife: My cooking is … Continue reading

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