Author Archives: Gay

I Heart Valentines Day Jokes!

Valentines Day definitely calls for the the corniest of jokes and puns: Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Sure, February 14th! What did the tarantula say about his date? We met on the web! Why didn’t Cupid shoot … Continue reading

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Red Carpet Fashion Digs-Miss You, Joan Rivers!

Since we are deep in to awards season, I think it is only appropriate to resurrect some of Joan Rivers snarky fashion one liners: Her chest is flatter than Kirstie Alley’s sofa cushions. I’ve seen better coats on a dog … Continue reading

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Elf Jokes: Naughty and Nice

Why aren’t there more jokes about elves around? Because they are short tempered! Groan! Here are a few I found: What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper! Why are Santa’s helpers depressed? They have low elf esteem! … Continue reading

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12 Days of Christmas Jokes

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve! Which Christmas present can’t be beat? A broken drum! Why do Dasher and Dancer get to take coffee breaks while the other reindeers are working? … Continue reading

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Teddy Bear Jokes:Unbearable!

Pawthetic? Fur sure! What did the teddy bear say after dinner? I’m stuffed! What do you called a Teddy Bear with no ears? A Teddy B! What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? A … Continue reading

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Mummy! They’re Making Fun of You!!! Mummy Jokes

You’d have to be a stiff not to appreciate these great mummy jokes we dug up: Why don’t mummies have many friends? They are too wrapped up in themselves! What is a mummy’s favorite type of music? Rap music! Why don’t mummies … Continue reading

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Tickle Your Funny Bone with These Skeleton Jokes!

It is time to reach in to the closet and bring out the skeleton jokes. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? He didn’t have the guts! Why don’t skeletons like parties? No body to dance with! Who was the … Continue reading

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My Favorite Quotes About Halloween

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. River Phoenix Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. Steve Almond On Halloween parents send their kids out looking like me. Rodney Dangerfield Studio 54 made Halloween … Continue reading

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Bust a Gut Laughing at These Zombie Jokes

Do zombies eat their dinner with their fingers? No they eat their fingers separately! What’s a zombie’s favorite meal? A MANwich! What did the zombie do after she dumped her boyfriend? Wiped her butt! Why was the zombie expelled from … Continue reading

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Claws Are Out! Quotes About Cats

I will not comment. The quotes speak for themselves: No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. Abraham Lincoln Time spent with cats is never wasted. Sigmund Freud In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; … Continue reading

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