- The Loch Ness Monster squeezes into a Soho bar and orders a shot of whiskey for £8. ‘You’re quite an unusual sight if you don’t mind me saying so, sir,’ said the barman. ‘We don’t get many monsters in here.’ The monster replies, ‘Aye, and at your prices I’m not surprised.’
- A fish walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘What do you want?’ The fish croaks, ‘Water.’
- A clay pot walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey, and make it a double.” The bartender replies, “Had a rough day?” The clay pot says, “Yeah, I just got fired.”
- An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, and a Czech walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I can’t let you in without a Thai.”
- Comic Sans walks into a bar, and the bartender says “We don’t serve your type here”.
- A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of the fly of his pants. The bartender takes a look at him and the steering wheel, and says “Hey buddy, you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate responds, “Arrr, it’s driving me nuts!”
- A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The screwdriver responds, “You have a drink named Murray?”
- A beaver walks into a bar. Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beavers here.” The beaver says, “Dam!”
- Helium gas walks into a bar, and the bartender says “We don’t serve noble gases here”. And Helium doesn’t react.
- A guy walks into a bar with his Golden Retriever. The bartender says, “Hey, get outta here. No dogs allowed.” The guy says, “But this is a seeing-eye dog”. The bartender lets him stay. A few minutes later another guy with a dog walks. The bartender says, “Hey, get outta here. We don’t serve anyone with dogs.” The guy says, “But he’s a seeing-eye dog.” The bartender says, “I’ve never seen a Chihuahua as a seeing eye dog.” The guy says,”They gave me a Chihuahua?”
Need more ‘A Guy Walked into a Bar Jokes? Check out:The 10 Best “Guy Walks in to a Bar” Jokes, A (FIll in the Blank) Walks in to A Bar Part 2, and A (Fill in the Blank) Walks in to a Bar Part 3. Feel free to add more!
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photo credit: 14-day Tyskie in Okrąglak Piwny / Okrąglak Piwny w Warszawie – Tyskie 14-dniowe via photopin (license)
photo credit: Jojo via photopin (license)