Chris Rock will be the host of this year’s Oscars. I might even watch the whole show!
- Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.
- Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
- I don’t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there’s no rehab for stupidity.
- Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.
- Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager, … Boy, was I wrong.
- Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.
- Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain’t gonna be at the perfect time. You’re married, they’re single. That’s right. You’re Jewish, they’re Palestinian. You’re a Mexican, they’re a raccoon. You’re a black woman, he’s a black man.”
- You won’t be able to keep your eyes off the next four presenters:Selma Hayek and Penelope Cruz (from his first hosting gig)
- Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars. (2006)
- I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it’s a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don’t recognize comedy, and you don’t see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?”
Good luck, Chris!
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By David Shankbone (Own work) [CC BY 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons