- Why was Pavlov’s hair so soft? Classic conditioning!
- A man was lying in the street beaten and bloody. A psychiatrist ran up to the man and exclaimed,”Holy cow! Whoever did this really needs help!”
- A man goes to a psychiatrist “Nobody listens to me!” The doctor says “Next!”
- Aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Let’s begin with basic emotions” said the professor.”What is the opposite of joy?” “Sadness,” replied a student.”The opposite of depression?” the professor asked another student.”Elation,” said the student.”And you sir,” he said to a young man in the back of the room. “How about the opposite of woe?” The future psychiatrist replied, “Doctor, I believe that would be giddy-up.”
- While my shrink was talking to me, his nurse came in and said,”Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.” The doctor said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Need more psych jokes? Here you go: How Many Psychiatrist Do You Need to Change A Lightbulb? and Psychology Jokes: How Do These Make You Feel?