- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield
- I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,”There’s water in the carburetor!” I said,”Where’s the car?” She said, “In the lake!” Henny Youngman
- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. George Burns
- A good wife forgives her husband when she is wrong. Milton Berle
- By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates
- Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
How many weddings will you be attending this month?