Steven Wright-The New King of One Liners

This guy always makes me laugh….after a double take.

  • The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.steven wright as a young man
  • When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • A fool and his money are soon partying.
  • OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
  • If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
  • How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
  • kodak filmI used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
  • Borrow money from pessimists-they don’t expect it back.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

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photo credit: 48states at en.wikipedia [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY-SA 2.5-2.0-1.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5-2.0-1.0)], from Wikimedia Commons
photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/wiccked/59867719/”>wiccked</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>

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