- Dear America, Happy Independence Day and thanks for running the world since we retired (China wants the job but hang in there). Luv, England Ricky Gervais
- I am proud to be an American because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread. Bill Cosby
- Just a reminder that fireworks look even more amazing when you are not constantly checking your iPhone. Someecards
- If you buy your July 4th supplies at Walmart, you can celebrate our independence from Britain and dependence on China at the same time. Andy Borowitz
- You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism. Erma Bombeck
And my favorite which is attributed( by my grandma but I think it is true) to John Hancock after signing the Declaration of Independence:
There. I guess King George will be able to read that!