- Why was Abe Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside!
- Abraham Lincoln goes to the theatre and realizes that it’s an opera. He said, “ Oh great! Just shoot me now!”
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? Because he couldn’t lie!
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth? Presidentures!
- How did George Washington speak to his army? In general terms!
- Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
And now off to buy a mattress! What will you buy on sale this Presidents’ Day?