Red Skelton’s Take on Marriage

Ouch! I sure hope Red Skelton’s wife had a sense of humor!Red Skelton

  • I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
  • My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?” I said,”Dust!”
  • My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”
  • I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
  • My wife got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
  • My Wife ran after the garbage truck yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”
  • I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
  • All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
  • I take my wife everywhere-but she keeps finding her way back!

How many of you remember The Red Skelton Show? My grandma never missed an episode. Much of his humor was lost on me then but now I think he’s pretty funny!

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photo of Red Skelton c. 1951 courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

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7 Responses to Red Skelton’s Take on Marriage

  1. Matt Baier says:

    Number 4 is my favorite.

  2. Alix says:

    hahaha… pretty good, though I need some clarification on the second to last one.

  3. Brian says:

    Aw! I love Red Skelton! Good memories…

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