Bigger Snacks Mean Bigger Slacks and Other Diet Quotes

Ugh. Take away my Doritos and I’m miserable. Misery loves company so I’ve compiled a few appropriate quotes about diets:

  • I lied on my Weight Watchers list.  I put down that I had 3 eggs… but they were Hands and black jacketCadbury chocolate eggs.  Caroline Rhea
  • The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you’re off it. Jackie Gleason
  • I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck
  • It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate. Dave Barry
  • My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts to eat. Henny Youngman
  • She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say ‘when.’ P.G. Wodehouse
  • Older people shouldn’t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. Robert Orben
  • Never eat more than you can lift.  Miss Piggy

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8 Responses to Bigger Snacks Mean Bigger Slacks and Other Diet Quotes

  1. Matt Baier says:

    Archie Bunker had diet-related line that always made me laugh. “Edith, at my age I don’t need roughage, I need smooth-age.”

  2. Alix says:

    Hahaha… these are good 🙂 I’m going to try to forget them for the next 6 weeks while I’m dieting 🙂

  3. Marilyn Miller says:

    Reading all these quotes about dieting made me hungry!

  4. Brian says:

    I sadly think Miss Piggy’s has been accurate lately.

    That’s it… I’m going to get a salad!

    • Gay Gasser says:

      Miss Piggy’s “Never eat more than you can lift” philosophy works well for 2 reasons 1. If you keep your weight on you are not in danger of being eaten and 2.If you never work out you won’t be able to eat much more than a large carrot.
      Maybe…

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