Charges Filed Cholesterol Testing Scandal

A grand jury indicted more than 50 overweight men in a covert nationwide sting aimed at Mr Bacon Bendable Figureuncovering wide spread fraud in cholesterol testing. Trying to avoid test results that could subject them to lifetime of high fiber foods and fish oil tablets, this group of cheaters lied, bribed and cried their way in to laboratories across the United States. Suddenly & suspiciously these apple-bellied men’s cholesterol tests showed lipid profiles of healthy teenage athletes!

For years the fear of high cholesterol test scores have been used to deprive patients of store bought Bacon flavored dental flosscookies, bagged snacks, cheeseburgers and bacon. Oatmeal, fish, walnuts and other less palatable foods were pushed on patients with clogged arteries.

One of the accused, Mr. A. Orta, pointed to conflicting data on cholesterol screening protocol and suspected that the fiber industry was behind exposing the dubious tests.

Mirth in a Box sells a wide range of gifts( including Bacon Dental Floss, Bacon Squeezing Water Bottle and Mr Bacon Action Figure) and care packages and we are especially proud of our Get Well & Cheer Up line. Send one today!

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2 Responses to Charges Filed Cholesterol Testing Scandal

  1. LOLCAT says:

    I can has fiber?

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