- At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.
- Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.
- “No comment” is a comment.
- Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
Thank you to By Bonnie from Kendall Park, NJ, USA (Carlin Does Trenton) for the great photo!