Comedians on Fathers and Fatherhood

After your siblings suck all the joy out of the room with their sappy Hallmark cards and Rod McKuen poems, drop a couple of these one-liners.

  • She got her looks from her Father. He’s a plastic surgeon. Groucho MarxComedian
  • Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on a rope. Bill Cosby
  • I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. W.C. Fields
  • I’ve been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? Phyllis Diller
  • Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Red Buttons
  • I was so ugly that my father carried around a picture of the kid who came with the wallet. Rodney Dangerfield
  • My father only hit me once — but he used a Volvo. Bob Monkhouse 

Mirth in a Box sells fun, custom gift boxes for fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers and cousins too. Check out our Happy Fathers Day gift box  and Worlds Funniest Dad gift box. Send one for Fathers’ Day and become the favorite child!

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4 Responses to Comedians on Fathers and Fatherhood

  1. Katie M says:

    This is hilarious, especially considering fathers day is coming up, makes me miss my father.

    Cherish them while you got em, and make fun of them while you got em!

  2. Carlos says:

    Can’t wait for fathers day. We going to have a big Bar-b-que!

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