Dad: That’s insane. No way.
Mom: Oh, c’mon, Gregor… Don’t you think ‘Rumpelstiltskin Pumpernickel’ has a certain ring to it?
Dad: It’s a ridiculous name. There could not be a less handsome name than ‘Rumpelstiltskin.’ It sounds like the noise a horse makes when it collapses from exhaustion. What about Edgar? I thought we liked the name Edgar.
Mom: Yeah, but ‘Edgar Pumpernickel’? It just sounds so haughty, so arrogant. I don’t want anybody to think our child lords himself over anybody.
Mom: That sounds like a sissy’s name. I think ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ sounds rugged. Because of the rrr at the beginning, probably.
Dad: Ehhh… The rest of the men folk in the village are never gonna let me live this down, you know.
Mom: So we can call him Rumpelstiltskin?
Mom: Oh, I’m so happy! I’m so happy about our baby boy!
Dad: I am too, Linda, I am too.
Mom: Oh, I can’t wait to get him home… I’m going to teach him how to work a spinning wheel, so he can grow up to be a big, strong, seamstress!
Dad: I’m never gonna be able to show my face at the tavern again.
Once again, Mirth in a Box has pilfered an old blog post from Alex Berg’s abandoned blog, Microanalysis. We shortened it a bit, Alex. Look for Alex at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Lost Angeles. He occasionally shows up on TV and in the movies too.