Rumpelstiltskin’s Parents Debate What to Name Their New Baby

Mom: No, no, no… Those all sound too ordinary. How about we name the baby… RumpelstiltskinSomething like… Rumpelstiltskin?

Dad: That’s insane. No way.

Mom: Oh, c’mon, Gregor… Don’t you think ‘Rumpelstiltskin Pumpernickel’ has a certain ring to it?

Dad: It’s a ridiculous name. There could not be a less handsome name than ‘Rumpelstiltskin.’ It sounds like the noise a horse makes when it collapses from exhaustion. What about Edgar? I thought we liked the name Edgar.

Mom: Yeah, but ‘Edgar Pumpernickel’? It just sounds so haughty, so arrogant. I don’t want anybody to think our child lords himself over anybody.

Dad: Alexander?

Mom: That sounds like a sissy’s name. I think ‘Rumpelstiltskin’ sounds rugged. Because of the rrr at the beginning, probably.

Dad: Ehhh… The rest of the men folk in the village are never gonna let me live this down, you know.

Mom: So we can call him Rumpelstiltskin?

Dad: …Yes.

Mom: Oh, I’m so happy! I’m so happy about our baby boy!

Dad: I am too, Linda, I am too.

Mom: Oh, I can’t wait to get him home… I’m going to teach him how to work a spinning wheel, so he can grow up to be a big, strong, seamstress!

Dad: I’m never gonna be able to show my face at the tavern again.

Once again, Mirth in a Box has pilfered an old blog post from Alex Berg’s abandoned blog, Microanalysis. We shortened it a bit, Alex. Look for Alex at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Lost Angeles. He occasionally shows up on TV and in the movies too.

Mirth in a Box sells fun custom gift boxes. Know someone who just had a baby? Why not send Oh Baby! ? We think it will be a stand out gift.


This entry was posted in Guest Posts, Humor and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *