Fictional character and American Dental Association (ADA) scapegoat, the Easter Bunny, spoke with Mirth in a Box yesterday in an effort to set the record straight on his family life, fitness regime, and oral hygenie.
Does the phrase, “breed like rabbits” offend you? No. Actually it is a compliment.
How many children do you have? Do they all have the same mother? That question is offensive.
How many miles to you hop in a typical day? I like to do 5 miles before breakfast and another 3 miles of speed work in the evening. I save my distance hops for the weekends.
How do you prepare for the Easter season? I learned long ago to let go of the egg decorating- that is all out sourced to China. The candy, infused with chemical preservatives so it can be made throughout the year, is also made in Asia. Baskets are woven by the seasonally unemployed such as leprechauns, fairies and elves. We use UPS and FedEx to help with deliveries.
Do you allow your children sweets on a daily basis? Is the pope Catholic?
How do you feel about the new bill congress is debating that would outlaw those sugary, yellow peeps? I think it should be decided on a state by state basis.
How do you battle middle age spread? Spanx.
Are those your real teeth? The left front tooth is an implant.
Have you every thought about having your teeth straightened? Have you ever thought about going straight?
What misconception about yourself do you want to clear up? I thrive on rumors. It keeps me current.
What would you like to say to dentists? They should all have a shrine to me in their offices.
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