Lab Notes: Who doesn’t love a fake mustache? That’s why so many companies offer these disguise kit staples. Our lab discovered theater-grade facial hair and stiff plastic whiskers, clown-sized staches and pencil thin lip fur, real & synthetic mustaches offered in all the colors of the rainbow, in every conceivable shape. Aided by caffeine and sugared snack food, we prepared ourselves for a long and grueling day of testing.
Testing: Our lab rats loved the mammoth mustaches but we all felt that, in this case, the price didn’t justify the laughs. The smaller yet convincing 6- Way- Fake Mustache had a hidden wire that allowed the wearer to shape it according to his/her whim, it was light and comfortable to wear and was also relatively inexpensive. All the fake mustaches we tested attached to the inside of the wearers’ nostrils. We felt there was a high probability that this gag would be a single use item due to the fact that even a few of our more intrepid testers exhibited squeamishness about reusing a mustache that had been in their own noses (mucus, germs, unidentifiable crumblies).
In Conclusion: This versatile gem, a parsimonious and prudent choice, deeply satisfied out inner prankster. The 6-Way -Fake Mustache scored off the graph for laugh vs. cost and got extremely high marks for adaptability.
Additional note: The 6- Way- Fake Mustache was brought to our attention by a professional comedian and raconteur, Alex Berg. It was extremely difficult to find a source for it. We agree with our testers that it should not be used by multiple people.