Mirth in a Box exclusive! The NMPF(National Milk Producers Federation) funded a yearlong study, which
concluded that Lactose Intolerance is really a psychosomatic illness. “These self-pitying milk haters have been bent on smearing the good name of dairy farmers everywhere.” claimed Elsie the Cow who continued on to say,” A bunch of fringe lunatics have faked nausea, vomiting and diarrhea in a pathetic attempt to gain attention and sympathy from friends and family because they have nothing else that warrants notice”.
Elsie did concede that the “lactose intolerant” test subjects produced higher levels of methane gas than the control group prompting her to snort, “When we change our tag line to “Got Gas?” we know where to look for poster children.”
As of press time the American Psychiatric Association would not comment if plans were afoot to include lactose intolerance in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).
Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual gift boxes for people of all dietary persuasions (including vegans!).