Lab Notes: For this series of tests we limited our scope to non-electronic methods of recreating the sounds of flatulence. Our test items included the traditional “whoopee” cushion, a self-inflating whoopee cushion, and Bronx Cheer device intended to be blown in to.
Testing: Our facility tested a plethora of seemingly identical, 6.5”-diameter “whoopee” cushions. The lab employees felt, in this case, it was necessary to hire an outside consultant who specialized in discrete auditory detection. All whoopee cushions were subjected to equal weight, force, and stimuli. Even to the highly trained ear, all sounds, while certainly fart-like and embarrassing, were virtually indistinguishable from each other. We also tested a super-sized whoopee cushion. What a treat for everyone involved! This 10″ x 4″ self-inflating “Master Blaster” blew past the competition with a realistic trumpeting of hearty bass tones. It was also extremely durable. The rubber stood up to a 10 minute bounce test with nary a crack. Lastly, we tried out The Razzer by SS Adams, which sounded more like a classic Bronx Cheer than bowel gas, but was used repeatedly throughout the day just because we liked it. It brought out the silly in our scientists, and that rarely happens.
Conclusions: While we enjoyed the Master Blaster, when graphed using price as the x
axis and laughter as the y axis, it scored dismally (Master Blaster was 15.4 times more expensive than the smaller whoopee cushions). Our testers also thought its size made it too hard to hide, thus there would be no opportunity for surprise. Since our auditory expert could hear no discernible difference among any of the 6.5″ whoopee cushions, we went with the company that was closest to our warehouse and had the steadiest supply. We figured this was a simple, short-lived gag; there was no need for extravagance. No one thought the Razzer was a substitute for a whoopee cushion, but we all enjoyed using it to signal dissatisfaction with other products. We included it in our Classic Prankster box. It stood up to multiple uses, was easy to clean, and produced a smile every time it was used. And yes, we chose the SS Adams’ Razzer vs a generic Bronx cheer device.
Mirth in a Box offers the whoopee cushion in Stinking of You, flagship box of flatulence, and Simply Silly, a traditional camp care package. The Razzer by SS Adams is found in the Classic Prankster gift box along with several other signature SS Adams pranks.
