Spider Jokes: Put These in Your Tuffet!

Just in time for Halloween!close up of spider

    • What do you call two young married spiders? Newly webs!
    • What do spiders eat in Paris?
 French flies!
    • What did one spider say to another? Time’s fun when you’re having flies!
    • Why do spiders spin webs?
 Because they can’t knit!
    • What do you call a big Irish spider? Paddy long legs! 
    • Why did the spider buy a computer? She wanted to build a website!spider and little miss muffed
    • What did one spider say to the other spider? Time’s fun when you’re having flies!
  • Customer: Waiter, waiter! There’s a spider in my soup!  Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir! It’s hardly deep enough to drown him!

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The 13 Best Black Cat Jokes!

Here’s a huge cat-a-logue of funny black cat jokes for Halloween.
 You are sure to be cat in the grasslaughing up fur balls by the end of reading these!

  • What is a black cat’s favorite color? 
  • What did the black cat have for breakfast? Mice Crispies!
  • When is it unlucky to see a black cat? When you are a mouse!
  • What do people in Canada call little black cats?
 Kittens!What do you call a witch’s black cat that drinks vinegar? 
A sour puss!
  • Why was the black cat so small?
 Because it only drank condensed milk!
  • What do you get if you cross a hungry black cat and a canary?
 A cat that isn’t hungry any more!
  • What is a black cat’s favorite dessert?
 Mice pudding!jungle cat
  • What has more lives than a black cat?
 A frog because it croaks every night!
  • How do black cats end a fight?
 They hiss and make up!
  • Why don’t black cats play poker in the jungle? 
Too many cheetahs!
  • What do you call a witch’s black cat falls off a broomstick? 
A catastrophe!
  • What is cleverer than a talking black cat? A spelling bee!

Want more Halloween jokes? Every Monday throughout the month of October, Mirth in a Blog will post silly, spooky, and scary jokes to get you in the mood for Halloween!

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All in Good Fun: Archie Bunker’s Hilarious Malapropisms

all in the familySeveral months ago I was writing a blog post about malapropisms and came across a gold mine (a gold mind?) of speech slip ups attributed to Archie Bunker, the bigoted patriarch in the ground-breaking sit com, “All in the Family” (1971-1979). Wow. A malapropism is produced when a word that is similar in sound, but nonsensical in context, is used in place of the correct word. Does that make sense? Here’s some of Archie Bunker’s absurd word mix ups:

  • Please don’t draw me no diaphrams.
  • We hold these semi-animal meetings.carroll oconnor
  • An octopus has eight testicles.
  • A woman doctor is only good for women’s problems…like your groinocology.
  • The sexual act was never constipated.
  • What do I look like, an inferior decorator?
  • Commenstrual with my experience.
  • I’m out there everyday amongst them, in the smelting pot of New York.
  • Present company suspected.
  • That there is an invasion of my privates.

As Archie Bunker said about himself, “My doctor tells me I got a communications disease”.

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Photo credits: By CBS Television (eBay item photo front photo back) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

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Coffee Jokes: International Coffee Day is Coming!

Did you know that International Coffee Day is September 29th? Well nowcoffee sup you know! Here’s a few coffee jokes to get you in the mood:

Customer: This coffee tastes like dirt!
Barista: That’s not surprising. It was just ground this morning!

Customer: Waiter! Is this supposed to be coffee or tea?
Barista: What does it taste like?
Customer: Gasoline!
Barista: Well, sir, it must be coffee. The tea tastes like turpentine!

californian coffeeCustomer: How much is the coffee?
Barista: Four dollars.
Customer: How much for a refill?
Barista: Those are free.
Customer: I’ll just have a refill.

Doctor: I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning.
Patient: Really, Doc? I’ve been doing that for years but my wife calls it coffee!

Barista: If you were my wife I would poison your coffee.
Customer: If you were my husband I would drink it!

Need more coffee jokes? See 2013’s post, International Coffee Day Coming Soon!

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10 Great Quotes About Coffee


An alarm clock might get me out of bed, but a cup of coffee wakes me up. I love my first cup of coffee in the morning. Seems that I’m not alone in this love:

  1. What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup. Henry Rollins

  2. I had some dreams, they were clouds in my coffee. Carly Simon
  3. He was my cream, and I was his coffee -
And when you poured us together, it was something.
 Josephine Baker
  4. It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee! Donna A. Favors

  5. Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just asawake with coffee hard to sleep after.  Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  6. The coffee was so strong it snarled as it lurched out of the pot.  Betty MacDonald
  7. Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.Terri Guillemets

  8. I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. Lewis Black
  9. There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee. Rian Aditia

  10. A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.  Anonymous

Did you know that September 29th is International Coffee Day? How Greek Coffee Cup Coin Pursewill you celebrate?

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. Hey! We also sell some really cool coffee mugs!

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Espresso Yourself! 12 of the Coolest Coffee Mugs

my favorite coffee mug

My favorite morning coffee mug

I start every morning with a large cup of black coffee. My coffee cup is very important to me. It can be neither too big, nor too small. If I need to run out the door, it better fit nicely in to my car’s cup holder. Exhibit A is what I drink from when I’m at home(Banned Books Mug). Exhibit B (Eco Cup below) is what I take with me when I’m driving.

funny coffee mug

Might need to get this!

I’m not about to switch my tried and true coffee cups anytime soon but I compiled a list of really awesome coffee mugs that I found online:

Hodor!– Thank you, Etsy, for making it easy for me to indulge in my love of coffee and “Game of Thrones”. Check this Hodor! Mug.

Poop is Coming! Keeping with the “Game of Thrones” theme, this mug looks well-designed and it quite punny!

There’s a Chance This isn’t Coffee: I like this mug (even though it might be a tad too big for me) because it is stylish and funny.

mustache coffee mug hand made

Actually this can be used for cereal too!

Handmade Mustache Coffee Mug- I love this mug! It makes my smile! Nelson Studios on Etsy has a great selection of handmade stoneware mugs that are microwavable and dishwasher safe!

Hello! Is it Tea You’re Looking For?– Simple white cup with a splash of 80’s nostalgia on it!

Hippo Attack Coffee Mug– Now wouldn’t I like to carry this mug! Finish your coffee only to find a mad hippo staring at you! Maybe someday I will sell these. Until then you can find them at Archie McPhee’s.

kikkerland gold coffee mug

Fore….those early tee times.

Coffee Junkie Coffee Mug- I love EVERYTHING that Trixie and Milo have on there site! Someday soon I hope to carry their flasks and coffee mugs.

Golfer’s Coffee Mug – Thought this was a clever gift for the golfer who has everything!

funny espresso cup

I’d drink espresso if I could drink from cup made by Benzo!

Had to add this Espresso Mug from Bulgaria! This guy, the artist known as Benzo, makes the best porcelain mugs! He does ship to the US so I might be buying a few of these for Christmas presents. Shhh!

ceramic travel coffee cup

My favorite (nothing comes close) travel coffee cup

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Mirth in a Box carries some awfully nice, and well-tested, coffee mugs. My personal favorites (for drinking coffee so they need to be on the small side and dishwasher safe) are: Banned Book Mug, Pink Freud Mug, Architecture Mug and when I’m on the road I only use The Eco Cup (with out the top. No need for it!).

Send us a picture of your favorite coffee cup!

Did you know International Coffee Day is Sept 29th? We’ll be feature lots of coffee-themed posts this coming week!

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Chicken Jokes: A Baker’s Dozen

That’s thirteen, grade A jokes:

  1. How do chickens dance? 
Chick to chick!Rubber Chicken
  2. Why did the chicken only lay eggs in the winter? She was no spring chicken!
  3. Why was the rooster a disappointment to the hen? He wasn’t all he was cracked up to be!
  4. What do you call a crazy chicken? A cuckoo cluck!
  5. What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school? 
It was eggspelled.
  6. Why don’t chicken like people? They beat eggs!
  7. What do chicken grow on? Eggplants!
  8. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? 
Poultry in motion!
  9. Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee was calling fowls!
  10. How do chickens bake a cake? From scratch!
  11. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan!
  12. Which day of the week do chickens hate the most? Frydays!
  13. Why couldn’t the chicken find her eggs? 
Because she mislaid them!

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Sick of Being Sick? A Few Fun Quotes to Cheer You Up!

  • When life kicks you, let it kick you forward. Kay Yowchimp in zoo
  • Joy and Temperance and Repose
  slam the door on the doctor’s nose.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • There are lots of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it.  Josh Billings
  • Eat right, exercise regularly, and die anyway.  Anonymous

  • When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay and relax for a while before trying to get back up. Terri Guillemets

  • Adam and Eve ate the first vitamins, including the package.  E.R. Squibb

  • Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got. Graffito

Feel better? We hope so!

Need to cheer up a sick friend? Mirth in a Box sells fun care packages. Need to cheer up a sick friend? We got you covered! Check out our Get Well and Cheer Up gift boxes!

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Coming Soon:Talk Like A Pirate Day

This year “Talk Like a Pirate Day” is Saturday, September 19. Here’s a few jokes to get you Pirate Hatin the mood:

  • Why did the pirate go on vacation? He needed some arrrr and arrrrr!
  • How does the pirate get rid of his extra bounty? He has a yarrrrrrrrd sale!
  • Why couldn’t the pirate take his kids to see “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”? It was rated arrrrrrr!
  • What does a dyslexic pirate say?
  • Who cleans the pirate captain’s quarters? A Mermaid!
  • What are a pirate’s favorite card games? Gin and Rummy!
  • Why are pirates called pirates? They just arrrrrgh!
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a birthday party? Da-Balloons!

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Hiss! The Claws Are Out! Snarky Celebrity Quotes

Is nothing sacred? Nope! Makes it entertaining for the rest of us. Even Jane marlon brando youngAusten gets slammed!

  • Marlon (Brando) has yet to learn to speak. He should have been born two generations before and acted in silent films. Richard Burton
  • Miss Davis (Bette) was always partial to covering up her face in motion pictures. She called it,”art”. Others might call it camouflage-a cover up for the absence of any real beauty. Joan Crawford
  • Why am I so good at playing bitches? I think it’s because I’m not a bitch. Maybe that’s why Joan Crawford always plays ladies. Bette Davis
  • Michael Jackson’s album was only called “Bad” because there wasn’t enough room on the sleeve for “Pathetic.” Princebette davis and joan crawford
  • There’s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does. Dean Martin
  • Joe Frazier is so ugly he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wildlife. Muhammad Ali
  • Charlton Heston is good at playing arrogance and ambition, but in the same way that a dwarf is good at being short. Rex princeHarrison
  • Boy George is all England needs: another queen who can’t dress.Joan Rivers
  • If William Gladstone fell into the Thames, that would be a misfortune. If anybody pulled him out, that would be a calamity.Benjamin Disraeli
  • Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I want to dig Jane Austen up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone. Mark Twain
  • Dear Ingrid(Bergman)! Speaks five languages and can’t act in any of them. Sir John Gielgud

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