How Many [Fill in the Blank] Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb Part 2

So little space so many jokes. Here are a few more ways to change a light bulb:actor with microphone

  • How many Iyengar yogis does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he’ll need a sticky mat, a chair, 2 blocks, 4 blankets, a bolster, 3 straps 2 ropes…..
  • How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight!
  • How many architects does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows for sure because it has never been done!
  • How many extreme snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only one. Everyone else stands back to watch and says, “I could have done that!”
  • How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb? None! They like it dark!
  • change a light bulbHow many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they’re convinced that the power will come back on soon!
  • How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes nine years!
  • How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They just have a nursing student do it.
  • How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they only screw in hot tubs! Groan!

 Need more jokes like this? Check out How Many [You Fill in the Blank] Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages and gifts.

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8 Fun Quotes Aboout Babies

It seems as if everyone I know is having a baby! How many baby showers have you been to newbornthis past year?

  • We spend the first 12 months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
  • Babies are such a nice way to start people. Don Herrold

  • If you were to open up a baby’s head — and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should — you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. Dave Barry
  • A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. Mark Twain
  • People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Leo J Burke
  • Babies are always more trouble than you thought- and more wonderful. Charles baby at beachOsgood
  • Don’t ever tell the mother of a newborn that her baby’s smile is just gas. Jill Woodhull
  • The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults. Peter De Vries

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages and gifts. In fact, we have some awfully cute gifts for babies!
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Tips of the Slung: Silly Spoonerisms

kiss the brideA spoonerism is an unintentional slip of the tongue. Sometimes initial consonants are transposed. Other times syllables are reversed. These verbal blunders are named after William Archibald Spooner, a well-known lecturer from Oxford England.

Here’s a few of Dr Spooner’s better known gaffs:

  • Three cheers for our queer old dean! (when toasting Queen Victoria)
  • It is kisstomary to cuss the bride (while puckering up at a wedding)
  • Ye noble tons of soil! (referring to Great Britain’s farmers)
  • When our boys come home from France, we’ll have the hags flung out. (flags hung out).

More spoonerisms from other tongued-tied folk:magicians rabbit

    • I’ll heat my cat (eat my hat)!
    • My zips are lipped (lips are zipped)!
    • Know your blows (blow your nose)!
    • Clip your no tails (toe nails)!
    • Where’s the cop porn (pop corn)?
    • Roaring pain (pouring rain)
    • A psychologist pulls habits out of rats (rabbits out of hats).
    • A dentist yanks for the roots. A New York baseball fan roots for the Yanks!
    • I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!

Come on! Please send us some more!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages.

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Prescription for a Broken Leg: Doctor Jokes!

If you have a friend who is recuperating from surgery, try these out:pink cast on leg

  • What’s the difference between God and a surgeon? God doesn’t think he’s a surgeon!
  • An old man limped in to the doctor’s office complaining of a bum left knee. The doctor asked him, “How old are you, sir?”.
    “I’m 98!” replied the old man.
    “Pfft”, said the doctor. “You are lucky to be alive. What do you expect at almost 100?”
    “Well my right knee is 98 years old an it doesn’t hurt!” countered the old man.
  • Patient: Doctor, Doctor! My leg hurts! What should I do? Doctor: Limp!
  • Nurse: Doctor, this man broke his leg in two places. What should we do now?
    Doctor: Tell him to stop going to those places!
  • Patient: After my broken leg heals will I be able to run a marathon?
    Doctor: Sure!
    Patient: Great. I’ve never been able to run one before!
  • Nurse: Doctor, Doctor! There’s a man in the waiting room who thinks he’s invisible!
    Doctor: Tell him I can’t see him!
  • What do you say to a hitch hiker with a broken leg? Hop in!

Mirth in a Box sells fun Get Well Care Packages! Send one to cheer up you sick friend today!

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National Parents Day Coming Soon!

President Bill Clinton established Parents Day in 1994 to recognize the important role pouting childparents have in rearing their children. Seems redundant but I’ll take it. Parents Day is the fourth Sunday of July.

  • When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck
  • Parenthood is a Lot Easier to Get In To Than Out Of. Bruce Lansky
  • Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Robert Fulghum
  • We never know the love of the parent till we become parents ourselves. Henry Ward Beecher
  • It is vital that when educating our children’s brains that we do not neglect to educate their hearts. The Dalai Lama
  • Parenthood… It’s about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last. Peter Krause
  • Children are a great comfort in your old age—and they help you reach it faster, too.father mother child Lionel Kauffman
  • If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. Bruce Barton

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for the special people in your life.

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Video Guide to Pool Party Etiquette

Just in time for your next shindig:
Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages and gifts.

Video thanks to UCB Comedy.

Yes, my son is in this. Guess which one he is.

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How Many [You Fill in the Blank] Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

light bulb in indiaWow. If only Thomas Edison knew there would be so many ways to change his little invention!

  • How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A fish!
  • How many safety inspectors does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it, and three to hold the ladder!
  • How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb? Let’s go play on our bikes!
  • How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? 
Only one. They don’t like to share the spotlight!
  • How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Since they Thomas Edison and light bulbrarely change anything without first appointing a study committee, it can take anywhere from between six to twelve politicians to change a light bulb!
  • How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement!
  • How many psychiatric patients does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change!
  • How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her!
  • How many people from Spain does it take to change a light bulb? Juan!
  • How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None.  That’s a hardware problem!

We have lots more of the ‘How many xxxx does it take to change a light bulb” jokes. And send of some of yours!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for college students, summer campers and people who need to be cheered up! Send one today!

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Ahhhhh Summertime! Quotes for a Summer’s Day

  • It’s a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it’s light out. Bill summer houseWatterson
  • Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it. Russel Baker
  • Do what we can, summer will have its flies. Ralph Waldo Emerson
  • Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. Henry James
  • A man says a lot of things in summer he doesn’t mean in winter. Patricia Briggs
  • In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. Albert Camus
  • Summer has set in with its usual severity. Samuel Taylor Coleridge
  • The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. Mark Twain
  • A lot of parents pack up their troubles and send them to summer camp. Raymond Duncan
  • Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. Sam Keen
  • A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. James Dent

Mirth in a Box celebrates summer and summer camp! Check out our camp care packages-perfect for the child at sleep away camp or the child who camps out in her own backyard!

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Oxymorons: Terribly Good

  • Icy hottraffic sign
  • Friendly fire
  • Paid volunteer
  • Loyal opposition
  • Clearly misunderstood
  • Static flow
  • Poor health
  • Almost exactly
  • Clearly confused
  • Minor crisis
  • Freezer burn

Who doesn’t love these paradoxical figures of speech? Please send more!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. Just perfect for your overworked college student, that homesick camper, or your friend recovering from surgery!

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Summer Flower Jokes: Hold Your Nose!

 Gardeners and gardenias! Are these even a lily bit funny? summer flowers

  • Why couldn’t the flower ride a bike? Because its pedals fell off!
  • What is a flower’s favorite drink? Root beer!
  • Which flower looks like it just lost a fight? Black-eyed Susan!
  • Why did the flower flunk math class? It couldn’t  understand square roots!
  • What do you get when you cross poison oak with  a four leaf clover? Rash of good luck!
  • Who do baby flowers cry for? Mum and Poppy!
  • What do you call a country where the people only drive pink cars? A Pink Car nation!
  • What do you call a stupid flower? A blooming idiot!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages and gifts. Right now we are in the midst of Camp Care Package season. Send one to your favorite camper now!

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