Open Wide for These Dentist Jokes!

My dentist knows every one of these jokes and more!dentist

  • What do you call a dentist who doesn’t like tea? Denis.
  • What are the six most frightening words in the world? “The Dentist will see you now.”
  • Why didn’t the dentist ask his secretary out? He was already taking out a tooth!
  • What was the dentist doing in Panama? Looking for the Root Canal!
  • What is the difference between a dentist and a sadist? A dentist has newer magazines!
  • What is the difference between a dentist and a New York baseball fan? One yanks for the roots; the other roots for the Yanks!

Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $350.00.
Patient: $350.00 for a few minutes work?
Dentist: I can pull it our very slowly if you would like!

Want more dentist jokes? Go ask your dentist or check out Dentist! Take These Without Novocaine!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual gifts and care packages.

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Oops! I Did it Again: Quotes About Mistakes

Some days the only things I accomplish are making mistakes!mistakes happen

  • Never mistake motion for action. Ernest Hemingway
  • The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one. John C. Maxwell
  • The world was my oyster but I used the wrong fork. Oscar Wilde
  • Your best teacher is your last mistake. Ralph Nadar
  • A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. Albert Einstein
  • Better a diamond with a flaw than a perfect pebble. Confucius
  • It’s always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile. Garry Marshall

Arghh! How do you feel when you make a mistake?

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Money-Saving Tips From Manny, The Frugal Pterosaur

PterosaurusThank you Alex Berg for this entertaining post!

Hi everybody! Manny the Frugal Pterosaur here- have you been looking for a way to make your dollars stretch a little further? Perhaps you want to squeeze a few extra pennies out of your paycheck to stow away for a rainy day? Well, look no further, friend- Manny the Frugal Pterosaur‘s got a snaggletoothed maw full of moneysaving tips to help you get the most bang for your buck!

  • You’ll spend less money on food if you purchase basic ingredients. Ready-made and Pterosaurusprepackaged items are more expensive (and less tasty!). To save even more money, try to use your gnashing teeth and aerial prowess to catch unsuspecting fish in rivers and streams.
  • To avoid late fees on your credit card bills, try to always pay 7-10 days in advance. If you want to save on postage as well, fly the bill to your credit card company yourself. That way, you avoid late fees and get a free vacation!
  • Utilities can be expensive. Try to save on heating costs by wrapping your wings around yourself to trap in body heat. Too hot? Spread your wings and watch the heat rapidly dissipate thanks to the intricate network of veins crisscrossing your thin, membranous wings!

That’s all for now, everybody! Remember- money isn’t free, but my advice is! This is Manny, the Frugal Pterosaur, signing off!

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Did You Hear the One About the Molecular Biologist? Biology Jokes!

      • What did Gregor Mendel holler when he founded genetics? Woopea!funny biologist
      • What is the easiest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?  Pull down its genes!
      • How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
      • What did people say about the famous microbiologist who traveled around the world? He was a man of many cultures!
      • How do you make a hormone? Don’t pay her!
      • If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.

Yeah. Come on, Biology Majors! Help me out here!

Mirth in a Box sells college care packages for Biology majors, English majors, Theater majors, the undecided and everyone else! Send one today!


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Flagging Fortitude: A Few Quotes to Dial up Determination!

Ehhhhh! It’s hot! I’m feeling sooooo lazy! I need something to get meTiger Face back on track in September. A quick cruise around the internet help me unearth a few motivational quotes to get me back on the productivity track:

  • If you don’t crack the shell, you can’t eat the nut. Persian Proverb
  • You can’t steal second if you don’t take your foot off first. Mike Todd
  • If you don’t enter the tiger’s den, how can you catch the tiger’s cub? Ben Choa
  • You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Wayne Gretsky
  • confident little girlIf you worried about falling off the bike, you’d never get on. Lance Armstrong 
  • Fall seven times, stand up eight. Japanese Proverb
  • He who limps still walks. Stanislaw Lec

Side note: Last year, brimming with determination to get in better shape, I bought a bike and rode it back and forth to work. One day I fell off (thank you, Lance Armstrong) and ruptured my ACL amount other things. Argggg! And some days I limp! Crap!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual college care packages.

 

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Recognizing the Symptoms of Empty Nest Disorder

parent after sending kid to college

Spread Your Wings!

Has your child recently left for college? Have you noticed an empty laundry basket? A full refrigerator? A quiet house? the plunger stays under the sink? You may be suffering from the “Empty Nest Disorder“!

Here are some of the more common warning signs that you could be at risk for Empty Nest Disorder:

  • Increased ability to concentrate and remember details

    2 people sky diving

    Try New Hobbies!

  • Feelings of guilt that you do not miss your child
  • The ability to sleep through the night with out waking
  • Increased ability to concentrate
  • Increased interest in activities and hobbies
  • Excess free time
  • A peaceful, easy feeling

If you have more than 3 of these symptoms you could be suffering from “Empty Nest Disorder“. Contact your doctor for advice on how to treat your symptoms. And don’t worry. That kid may boomerang back home in four years!

Mirth in a Box sells the  best college care packages designed to alleviate any parental guilt yo may be experiencing!

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These Jokes are the Cheesiest!

cheeseThese are the Velveta of cheese jokes:

  • What is a cannibal’s favorite cheese? Limburger!
  • What happened after the cheese factory exploded? All that was left was de brie!
  • How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
  • What does a cheese salesperson say to close the deal? This cheese may be gooda, but this cheese is feta!
  • Why did the Vermont Dairy farmer go on a diet? He wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
  • What do you get when you cross a cow with a Smurf? Blue Cheese!college care package mac and cheese
  • What do you call a piece of cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

Mirth in a Box sells great college care packages include one called Mac and Cheese Attack! Please send one today!

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Ta Ta For Now! Off to College Quotes

I remember the leaden feeling in my chest the day I dropped my first off to collegechild off at college. Actually, it only lasted for an hour or so. After I schlepped boxes up the stairs for a few hours I was hot, distracted and quite ready to go home alone.

  • The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
  • There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other wings.
 Hodding Carter
  • Living with a College RoommateA man cannot leave a better legacy to the world than a well educated family. 
Thomas Scott
  • If the college you visit has a bookstore filled with t-shirts rather than books, find another college. Albert Mohler Jr.
  • Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income–which he then spends sending his son to college.
 Bill Vaughn
  • However painful the process of leaving home, for the parents and for children, the really frightening thing for both would be the prospect of the child never leaving home. Robert Neelly Bellah

Sending a kid off to college? Don’t forget to send a care package! Just a little something……from Mirth in a Box!

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See These Movies Before Heading Off to College!

Well, who better to ask about college, and college-themed movies, than Dr Amy Sack of Admissions Accomplished? That was a rhetorical question. Amy is an expert on all things college-related. Here’s the list that Amy came up with:

1. American Pie 2 (2001) The motley group  from the first “American Pie”  reunite after their first year in college. The friends decide to hold the biggest beach party ever…hilarity ensues.

Animal House 2. Revenge of the Nerds (1984) The lovable nerds, Gilbert and Lewis, begin their first year at Adams College where they’re endlessly taunted by a group of jocks. The jocks burn down their house, forcing the freshman out of their dorms. The nerds create their own fraternity and the tables turn.

3. Animal House (1978) – John Belushi heads up the hijinks in this iconic movie that mocks the college experiences so perfectly that the US Library of congress deemed it ‘culturally significan’ and selected it for preservation in the National Film Registry. Really! Watch it! Bonus: Original score by Elmer Bernstein. Really.

4. Back to School (1986) – Rodney Dangerfield plays Thornton Melon, a mega rich Unknownretail magnate who decides to drop everything and go to college with his son. Much hilarity ensues, of course.

5. National Lampoon’s Van Wilder (2002) – Van Wilder is an outgoing, popular student who has been at Coolidge College for 7 years and hasn’t made an attempt to graduate for the last 6 semesters. A misconstrued romantic entanglement leads to a string of super gross pranks, earning it an 18% on Rotten Tomatoes but a huge cult following of teenage boys..

Ready to be inspired? Are your parents in the room? Here’s a few more of Amy’s favorite films:

images1. Rudy (1993) – Rudy is the true story of a young man who grew up in a steel mill town where most people end up staying for life. Despite a lackluster academic career, little money and meager physical talents, Rudy sets his sights on playing football for Notre Dame. Get the box of Kleenex out!

2. Good Will Hunting (1997) – How convenient! Will Hunting, a mathematical savant, is a night time custodian at M.I.T. To break up the tedium of mopping floors he solves the  complicated equations he finds scribbled on the blackboards. His genius does not go unnoticed in this touching Oscar- winning film. Living with a College RoommateMatt Damon and Ben Affleck won an Oscar for writing the script!

3. Dead Poet’s Society (1989) –An elite prep school filled with filled with driven students have their eyes opened to life by an eccentric poetry professor played by Robin Williams. I’m assuming they all ended well-prepped for college and life.

4. The Great Debaters (2007) – A drama based on the true story of Melvin B. Tolson, a professor at Wiley College Texas. Wiley’s 1935 debate team ends up challenging Harvard in the national championship. This movie won a Golden Globe Award for Best Picture (drama). “The Great Debaters” star, Denzel Washington, donated $1,000,000. To Wiley College to reestablish it’s debate team.

5. Mona Lisa Smile (2003)- Katherine Watson is a free-spirited graduate of UCLA who accepts a teaching post at Wellesley College. It’s 1953 and the new professor Watson ruffles many conservative feathers when she asks her students to question traditional values. Julia Roberts got a record 25 million dollars for this role! Wow!

Now back to work! It’s almost time to go off to college!

Dr Amy Sack is the president of Admissions Accomplished, a consulting firm dedicated to helping individuals make meaningful choices about their education. Admissions Accomplished offers exceptional individual counseling and educational workshops focused on admission to highly selective colleges, business schools, and graduate programs.

Mirth in a Box sells the fun and unusual college care packages for brilliant students, slackers and everybody in between!

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Oh Peas! Here’s Some Rotten Vegetable Jokes!

These vegetable jokes can’t be beet:

  • What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato!Radishes
  • What did the carrot say to the celery? 
Lettuce rest, I’m feeling beet!
  • Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!
  • What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop?
  • Why did the cabbage win the race?
Because it was ahead!
  • How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots!

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