Flea Circus Owner Plagued by Low Attendance Figures

In retrospect he should have stuck with elephants. Itchy Scratchmore, flea cannonproprietor of Flea Stooges Flea Spectacular, traded in his big top circus for a pint-sized pup tent. Tried of the fragrance of felines, the muck of monkeys and the creepiness of clowns, Mr Scratchmore decided to try his hand at a flea circus. Fleas were cheap to come by, easy to train and undemanding. Unfortunately, few people were charmed by The Flea Stooges tiny tentful of tricks.clown with boy on lap Not one to give up, Scratchmore tried to create some buzz by adding tapeworms and houseflies. The bleachers were still empty.

“This has sucked the life out of me.” Itchy bemoaned. “I’ve a call in to Jumbo.”

Jumbo could not be reached for comment.

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Hare-Raising Rabbit Jokes!

Giant Easter BunnyHey. It’s almost Easter. Very appropriate.

  • What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?A harenet!
  • Did you hear about the rabbit whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!
  • Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? He was having a bad hare day!
  • Do you know how rabbits stay in shape? Hareobics!
  • Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon!
  • Where does a rabbit go when it dies? To the hare-after!
  • How do rabbits travel? By hareplane! British Hareways, actually.
  • How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew? It has hares in it!

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A Fool’s Paradise of Quotes-Just In TIme for April Fools’ Day

April Fools Day is just around the corner! Don’t be caught unprepared!

  • Better a witty fool than a foolish wit. William Shakespearefools
  • When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. Otto von Bismark
  • Let us be thankful for the fools.  But for them the rest of us could not succeed. Mark Twain
  • I know a lot of people think I am dumb. Well at least I ain’t no educated fool. Leon Spinks
  • The fool wonders, the wise man asks. Benjamin Disraeli
  • A man may be a fool and not know it but not if he is married. H.L. Mencken
  • We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. Japanese Proverb
  • Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Randall Terry
  • You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel that you’ve made a permanent job. Laurence J. Peter
  • A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough. Bruce Lee
  • A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool. Edward G. Bulwere-Lytton
  • Never let a kiss fool you or a fool kiss you. Joey Adams

Do you plan on pranking anyone on April Fools Day? We might be able to help. Check out our Pranks and Gags…and then bookmark us, please!!!!

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The Easter Bunny on Stereotypes of Rabbits in Popular Culture

The world’s most beloved bunny sat down with us for a heartfelt talk about some of theRabbit most hurtful and inaccurate generalizations about rabbits.

Mirth in a Box: Which rabbit stereotype to you find to be the most irksome?
Easter Bunny: That rabbits and hares are rodents. Ewwww. We are herbivorous, we have 4 incisors and we are cute…..unlike any beady-eyed, buck-toothed rodent I’ve ever seen. We are proud members of the order of lagomorph.

MiaB: OK. Got that. Does the phrase,”breed like a rabbit” offend you? 
EB: No. It is a compliment. A single rabbit can produce over 1,000 offspring throughout its life. I’d like to see Mickey Mouse top that!

MiaB: How many children do you have?
EB: Excuse me, May I use your calculator?

MiaB: Do they all have the same mother?Too Cute! A Bunny Rabbit!
EB:
 Now that is a rude question. Next!

MiaB: How do you fell about carrots?
EB: They are a fine addition to any meal but I do not eat them exclusively.

MiaB: I know you are busy in the springtime. What do you do in the off season?
EB: I work at I Hop.

MiaB: Who are some of your favorite rabbit celebrities?
EB: It’s hard not to like the wascaly wabbit, Bugs Bunny. I’ve always admired the White Rabbit from “Alice In Wonderland” for his punctuality. Brer Rabbit of “Songs of the South” was a real sharpie and the Energizer Bunny is a great guy in person.

MiaB: Who do you think does a discredit to your order?
EB: That neurotic and whiney fellow, Rabbit, in the Winnie the Poo books.

MiaB: One last question, how much do you get when you make a basket?
EB: Two points. Just like everybody else.

MiaB: I should have seen that coming. Thanks for taking the time to chat with us, Mr Bunny!
EB: Sure. It’s been nice gnawing you!

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Spring Flower Jokes: We Love Them…We Love Them Not!

Ewwww! Some of these jokes need to be composted!tulips

  • Which flowers aren’t your friends? Anemones!
  • What did the flower say to the judge? Iris my case!
  • What type of flower grows on your face? Tulips!
  • April showers bring May Flowers. What do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
  • What is a frog’s favorite flower? A Croak-us!
  • Which flower is the silliest? A Chim-pansy!
  • Why didn’t the gardener plant any flowers this year? He hasn’t botany!
  • Why do bees seek out flowers? Flowers have all the anthers!

white spring anemones

    • Did you hear about the man who swallowed 100 daffodil bulbs? The hospital said he’s recovering and is due to be out in the spring!

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Spring is Coming! Quotes About My Favorite Season

I love spring! I like it when it’s warm and sunny, I like it when it’s cool and rainy. I can sea of daffodils childstart gardening, I can start rowing on the water and “Game of Thrones” season 5 will begin shortly. All good!

    • Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. Doug Larson
    • I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry trees.  Pablo Neruda
    • In spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt. Margaret Atwood
    • A little madness in the Spring/Is wholesome even for the king. Emily Dickinson
    • The first day of spring is one thing, the first spring day is another. The difference between them is sometimes as great as a month. Henry Van Dyke

spring tree

    • I love spring anywhere but if I could choose I would always greet it in the garden. Ruth Stout
    • If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall. Nadine Stair

House Stark! Heed this proverb: No matter how long winter is, spring is sure to follow.

Thank you, Robin Williams for the best spring quote of all, “Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s Party!”

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Spring Fever Cases Spike in March

The Health Advocates Hypochondria Association (HAHA) announced last Friday white spring flower that they anticipate a surge in Spring Fever diagnoses. The following are some of the most common signs of Spring Fever:

  • Are you sweating profusely after exercising?
  • Do you feel chilled when outside on a cool morning wearing only a T shirt?
  • Have you ever gotten a headache after falling out of your tree fort?
  • Do your muscles ache after a hard workout session?
  • Did you experience a loss of appetite upon seeing yourself in shorts after a long winter indulging in comfort food?
  • Is the sun suddenly setting an hour later?

2 people at beachIf you or a loved one experiences any of these symptoms, stay in bed, call your doctor and panic.

Do you know someone suffering from spring fever? Mirth in a Box offers a wide selection of Get Well care packages. Send one today!

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It’s My Birthday and I’ll Laugh if I Want To: Jokes About Getting Older

Today, March 16th, is my birthday. The barbs about wrinkles and forgetfulness started colorful balloonsdecades ago. Each year I am the butt of another ailment in the repertoire of aging jokes. Har har. Here are a few of the best:

Woman: Is my skin starting to show its age?
Man: I can’t tell. There are too many wrinkles to see.

    • An older woman goes to see her doctor. She complains that she is forgetting everything-where she put her keys,what she walked in to a room to do, where she left her wallet. “What can I do, Doc?” The doctor replies,”Pay me in advance!
    • “An old man hobbles up to an ice cream stand and orders a hot fudge sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asks the waitress. “No” says the man. “Rheumatism”.old woman on bench
    • Grandson to grandmother: Have you lived here all your life?

Grandma: I don’t know. I haven’t died yet!

  • What’s the difference between a clown and a middle-aged man? A clown knows he is wearing ridiculous clothes!
  • Three old women were going for a walk. One commented,”Windy, isn’t it?” “No,”replied the second woman. “It’s Thursday.” The third woman chimed in and said,”So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
  • Two old men are sitting at the nursing home when all of a sudden one of the female residents dashes by them completely naked. “Did you see what she was wearing?” asked the first man. “Not really” said the second man”but it sure needs to be ironed!”Wah wah wah…..cymbals crash.                                             Mirth in a Box sells the best care packages in the world!
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The Ten Best Irish Toasts to Use on Saint Patrick’s Day

  • Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!Saint patricks day
  • May the good lord take a liking to you…but not too soon!
  • May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty.
  • May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, and never catch up.
  • Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
 A pretty girl and an honest one. 
A cold pint– and another one!
  • May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
  • It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow
 than to spend tonight like there’s no money!
  • May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light. 
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
  • My friends are the best friends. 
Loyal, willing and able.
 Now let’s get to drinking!
 All glasses off the table!
  • May the luck of the Irish lead to the happiest heights, and the highway you travel be lined with green lights.
  • Wherever you go and whatever you do, 
may the luck of the Irish be there with you.

Ohhh I think I counted wrong. Bottoms up!

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Gratitude Journal Entry: Thank You, Ireland!

Next week is Saint Patrick’s Day. Rather than mock the holiday that has been eclipsing 4269657165_3588b06f5d_nmy birthday (March 16th) for my entire life I decided to ponder all the wonderful things that Ireland has produced. Here’s my list:

  • Wheaton Terriers (one of my favorite dogs ever was half Wheaton Terrier)
  • Shepherd’s Pie- What’s not to like? Savory ground meat and vegetables topped with mashed potatoes! Click here for Alton Brown’s recipe.
  • Guiness Beer- Extra stout beer that has no peer!
  • Cillian Murphy- Nobody else looks like this actor. The palest of blue eyes, dark, dark hair, and a perm smirk have helped typecast Cillian as a villain! Hey, it’s a paycheck!
  • Chris O’Dowd- Ahhhh He seems like a darn nice guy. Remember him from “Bridesmaids”? No wonder Kristen Wiig fell for him!
  • Redheads-Some of my best friends are red heads! Really!
  • Lucky Charms- When I was a kid, this were my favorite cereal but my mother would never buy it for me. Too much sugar.
  • Finn McCool- Finn McCool is one of Ireland’s favorite folk heroes. The version illustrated by William Steig was one of my kid’s favorite books. Seems as if it is out of print!

lucky charms magically deliciousAre you grateful to Ireland for something? Please do let us know!

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