Did you know that September 29th is International Coffee Day? I have never needed a reason to start my day with a cup, or two, of coffee. Not wanting to be a party pooper I plan to celebrate Coffee Day by having my coffee hot in the morning, iced in the afternoon and mochaed in the evening. How about you?
- I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. Flash Rosenberg
- Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Stephen Wright
- Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. Anonymous
- A morning without coffee is like sleep. Anonymous
- My blood type is Folgers. Anonymous
- I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. Stephen Wright
- I like my coffee like I like my women, In a plastic cup. Eddie Izzard
- If it wasn’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsover. David Letterman
May we suggest sending one of our funny and functional coffee mugs to your favorite coffee drinker? Or better yet, get a set for yourself! We also have a coin purse shaped like the iconic NYC takeout coffee cup (my person favorite). Mirth in a Box sells care packages and gifts when the thought counts but the fun counts even more!
Can we talk? Joan Rivers at her best:
- I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
- The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.
- He who limps is still walking.
- I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.
- Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds.
Posted in Humor, Quotes
Tagged Beauty and exercise, comedian, custom gift boxes, funny gifts, funny women, Joan Rivers, jokes, Mirth in a Blog, Mirth in a Box, one liners, quotes, wacky gifts
Every year people around the world celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day on September 19th. Really. Arrrrrrr you ready?
- Why do pirates wear eye patches? Because they can’t afford iPads!
- Why did the pirate stay in the head for so long? Because he had the ships!
- What is a pirate’s favorite vegetable? Arrrrrugala!
- What’s a pirate’s favorite part of a parade? Da Balloons!
- Who cleans a pirate captain’s quarters? A mermaid!
- Which card games do pirates like best? Gin and Rummy!
- What did the dyslexic pirate say? Raaaaaaaa!
- What is a pirate’s favorite subject? Arrrrrrrt!
- Which movies do pirates like best? Arrrrrrrr-rated ones!
- What do pirates wear in the winter? Long Johns!
- Which kind of ships do pirates avoid? RelationSHIPS!
Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for college students, summer campers, and anyone in need of good cheer!
photo credit: FNK_3419 (Copy) via photopin (license)
Can’t stay up for the late shows? Here are some evergreen political jokes:
- Why should politicians be buried 20 feet deep?Because deep down, they’re really good people!
- What’s the difference between a politician and a shopping cart?A politician holds more liquor!
- What’s the difference between a politician and a catfish? One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish! What’s the difference between a politician and a sack of manure?The sack!
- Why don’t you ever hear about burglars robbing politicians? Professional courtesy!
- What’s the difference between a good politician and a bad politician? A headstone!
- What do you call a group of skydiving politicians? Skeet!
- How can you tell when a politician is lying? His lips are moving!
Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages.
Wow. So many answers to the age old question, “How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?” Here are some of my favorites:
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
- How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but it really gets screwed.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to do it and three to complain that the old bulb was better.
- How many ethical politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Both of them!
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? It’s irrelevant; they’re still in the dark!
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Since they rarely change anything without first appointing a study committee, it can take anywhere from between six to twelve politicians to change a light bulb.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? 10000001. One to change the light bulb and 10000000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages. Send one today!
photo credit: The Light Inside Yourself! via photopin (license)
Oh dear! Where did the summer go? It time for students to go back to school and time for Mirth in a Box to pull out the teacher jokes.
- Why did the teacher turn the lights on? Because her class was so dim!
- Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils!
- Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the water!
- What do you call a teacher without students? Happy!
- What would happen if you took the school bus home ? The police would make you bring it back !
- Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright!
Are you the type who likes to curls up with a good book on a cold night? I sure am. I think you’ll enjoy these quotes:
- Every burned book enlightens the world. Ralph Waldo Emerson
- There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them. Joseph Brodsky
- If you believe everything you read, better not read. Japanese proverb
- Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? Henry Ward Beecher
- You can’t get a cup of tea big enough or a book long enough to suit me. C. S. Lewis
- You cannot open a book without learning something. Confucius
- Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read! Mitch Hedberg
- I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. Steven Wright
- ‘Classic.’ A book which people praise and don’t read. Mark Twain
- The covers of this book are too far apart. Ambrose Bierce
- I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx
- This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. Dorothy Parker
- Never judge a book by it’s movie. JW Eagan
- Big book, big bore. Callimachus
Mirth in a Box sells fun care packages.
Do not disparrow! Try out these bird jokes (Good Grebe!):
- What do you get when you run over a bird with your lawnmower? Shredded Tweet!
- How do you keep a turkey in suspense? I’ll tell you tomorrow!
- What birds spend all their time on their knees? Birds of prey!
- How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!
- What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor? The pheasants are revolting’!
- What do you call a duck on drugs? A quackhead!
- What kind of bird can carry the most weight? The crane!
- What do you get when you cross a Golden Eagle with a razor?A Bald Eagle!
- When should you buy a bird? When it’s going cheep!
Drumroll please, my favorite:
A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, “Where did you get that thing?” The parrot replies, “In France, there are millions of them!”
Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages that should cheer anyone up!
Thanks to panuruangjan via freedigitalphotos.net for the picture of the Blue Flycatcher!
Posted in Humor
Tagged bird jokes, puns
As the summer heat abates I begin, once again, to spend time in my garden. Ahhhhh!!!!!
- A garden is a grand teacher. It teaches patience and careful watchfulness; it teaches industry and thrift; above all it teaches entire trust. Gertrude Jekyll
- Gardening requires lots of water – most of it in the form of perspiration. Lou Erickson
- Gardening is the purest of human pleasures. Francis Bacon
- I perhaps owe having become a painter to flowers. Claude Monet
- If you have two pennies, spend one on a loaf and one on a flower. The bread will give you life and the flower a reason for living. Chinese Proverb
- Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them A. A. Milne
Too busy working in your garden to create a care package for someone at college? Well……Mirth in a Box sells the best college care packages in the world! Check us out!
Need a pair of practical and pretty gardening gloves? Do check out my friend Harriet’s gorgeous gloves HERE.
photo credit: jeżówki (echinacea purpurea) via photopin (license)