Lab Notes: A dribble glass is an seemingly innocent glass with tiny, virtually undectectable holes in the sides, usually covered by etchings or painted designs. When an unsuspecting victim drinks from this glass, liquid dribbles down his chin and hilarity ensues. The original dribble glass was created by the godfather of gags, S. S. Adams. In keeping with most of his inventions, it is subtle, simple and satisfying. However, this old-school prank was about as hard to find as a rotary telephone. We did manage to locate a few of these classic jokes and sent for them.
Testing: During side-by-side visual comparisons, our quality control department immediately rejected the plastic dribble glasses. The glass version of the prank was clearly superior. We tested 3 different juice-sized tumblers, tucking them in with regular beverage containers in 2 different locations: a home kitchen pantry and an office lunchroom. Each and every time the counterfeit container was selected, the drinker was treated to a wet chin and a sodden shirt. Befuddled and embarrassed at first, only one of the dozen or so victims realized that the glass she was drinking from was a planted prank.
All three glasses were similar in quality and performed well, so we ultimately picked the one that came from the closest warehouse. Call us green!
Conclusion: Few pranks can serve up satisfaction like the Dribble Glass. The material integrity of glass, though weightier than plastic, makes this an ideal trick to use over and over. It stood up well to repeated washings.
Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual gift boxes for all occasions including April Fools Day! Why not send something to your favorite prankster today?
Because his red ones were dirty!
A few more jokes for your Saint Patrick’s Day celebrations:
- What do you call a fake stone in Ireland? A sham rock!
- What do you call an Irishman who keeps bouncing off of walls?Rick O’ Shea!
- How do you get an Irishman on the roof? Tell him the drinks are on the house.
- What is out on the lawn all summer and is Irish? Paddy O’ Furniture
- Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they’re always a little short!
- How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He’s Dublin over with laughter! What does Ireland have more than any other country? Irishmen!
There’s must be more Saint Patrick’s Day jokes out there-send me some!
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A friend asked why I never had any jokes about architects. A quick look on the internet and I found reams of architectural anecdotes. Who would have thought?
- How many architects does it take to screw in a light bulb? No one knows for sure because it has never been done!
- Why don’t architects get in to heaven? Because Jesus was a carpenter!
- Why is heaven considered to be the perfect place? Because there are not architects to screw up the design!
- What do architectural historians drink at bedtime? Rococoa!
- How to you get an architect to work? With an Architect’s Instruction book!
- What was the name of the negativist brother of a famous American architect? Louis Kahn’t.
- Which famous 20th century German architect is famous for his river sports achievements? Mies van der Rower.
There you go, Graeme! These are for you!
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Today is a day not just for mattress sales! Here’s a few jokes told at the expense of George Washington and Abe Lincoln:
- Why was Abe Lincoln born in a log cabin? Because it was too cold to be born outside!
- Abraham Lincoln goes to the theatre and realizes that it’s an opera. He said, “ Oh great! Just shoot me now!”
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?Because he couldn’t lie.
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?Presidentures!
- How did George Washington speak to his army?In general terms!
- Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington, DC!”
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Valentines Day definitely calls for the the corniest of jokes and puns:
- Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day? Sure, February 14th!
- What did the tarantula say about his date? We met on the web!
- Why didn’t Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer’s heart? He can’t hit a target that small!
- Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because it couldn’t get a date!
- Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She wasn’t his taste!
- What’s so great about love at first sight? It saves lots of time!
- Girl: I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.
Boy: Really? Why not?
Girl: You make me sick!
- What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day? I’m nuts about you!
- What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day? You’re nuts so bad yourself!
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Since we are deep in to awards season, I think it is only appropriate to resurrect some of Joan Rivers snarky fashion one liners:
- Her chest is flatter than Kirstie Alley’s sofa cushions.
- I’ve seen better coats on a dog with mange.
- She’s got more junk in her trunk than a full season of “Storage Wars”.
- I give this look two middle fingers up!
- The last time I saw this much thigh meat was on trash day a Chick-Fil-A.
- The pattern! Does this or does this not look like a cake decorated by a crackhead?
What are your favorite red carpet zingers?
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Why aren’t there more jokes about elves around? Because they are short tempered!
Groan! Here are a few I found:
- What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper!
- Why are Santa’s helpers depressed? They have low elf esteem!
- What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
- What type of bread do elves make sandwiches with? Shortbread!
- How long are elves legs? Long enough to reach the ground!
- Santa rides in his sleigh. What do the elves ride in? A minivan!
- What do elves like to barbecue? Short ribs!
- Why can’t you borrow money from an elf? Because they’re always a little short!
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- What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
- Which Christmas present can’t be beat? A broken drum!
- Why do Dasher and Dancer get to take coffee breaks while the other reindeers are working? They are the star bucks!
- What did the little Christmas candle say to the big Christmas candle? I’m going out tonight!
- What’s it called when Santa Claus takes a break? A Santa pause!
- What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas time? He got 12 months!
- How do you make a reindeer fast? Don’t feed it!
- What do you call the elf that is always making wisecracks? A real Christmas card!
- Who goes, “Oh, Oh, Oh!”? Santa Claus walking backwards!
- What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish!
- How did the reindeer open his comedy routine? “This will SLEIGH you!”
- What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!
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Pawthetic? Fur sure!
- What did the teddy bear say after dinner? I’m stuffed!
- What do you called a Teddy Bear with no ears? A Teddy B!
- What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? A teddy boar!
- What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend? Hunny!
- What is as big as a Teddy Bear but weighs nothing? Its shadow!
- What do Teddy Bears do when it rains? Get wet!
- What is a Teddy Bear’s favorite food? Stuffing!
- What does a Teddy Bear walk on? His bear feet!
Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for camp, college and anyone who needs some good cheer! In fact we carry the adorable little black bear key ring seen to the left!
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