Time Flies When You’re Telling Insect Jokes!

These are un-bee-lievable! Bzzzzzzzzbee!

    • What do flowers and the letter A have in common? Both have bees coming after them!
    • Did you hear the one about the pregnant bed bug? She’ll have her babies in the spring!
    • Why did the bumble bee put honey under his pillow? He wanted sweet dreams!

close up of fly

  • What do you call two young married spiders? Newly webs.  
  • What’s the last thing that goes thru a bug’s mind as he hits the windshield? His butt.
  • Customer: Waiter, waiter! There’s a fly in my soup! Waiter: No worries. It’s not deep enough to drown him!
  • Customer: Water,waiter! What’s this fly doing in my soup? Waiter: The back stroke!
  • Why did the bee go to the dermatologist? Because it had hives!
  • What did one spider say to the other spider? Time’s fun when you’re having flies!

Do you know what bugs Mirth in a Box?   Homesick summer campers! We take the sting out of homesickness with camp care packages to make those kids smile!

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Fashion Quotes by Utterly Fabulous People

Disclaimer: I subscribe to Katharine Hepburn’s school of style,” I wear my fashion iconsort of clothes to save me the trouble of deciding which clothes to wear.” (but I don’t look chic. Not one iota):

    • I’ve always thought of the T-shirt as the Alpha and Omega of the fashion alphabet. Giorgio Armani
    • As far as I’m concerned, leopard is a neutral. Jenna Lyons
    • Trendy is the last stage before tacky.Karl Lagerfeld
    • You’re never too old to play. You’re only too old for low-rise jeans. Ellen Degeneres

sketch fashion

  • Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants. Karl Lagerfeld
  • Anything is possible with sunshine and a little pink. Lilly Pulitzer
  • When in doubt, wear red. Bill Blass
  • Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing. Alexander Wang
  • Fashion is what you’re offered four times a year by designers. And style is what you choose. Lauren Hutton
  • Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady. Edith Head
  • Fashions fade, style is eternal. Yves Saint-Laurent
  • Walk like you have three men walking behind you. Oscar de la Renta
  • People will stare. Make it worth their while. Harry Winston
  • Luxury is the ease of a t-shirt in a very expensive dress. Karl Lagerfeld

Ouch!

Mirth in a Box is haute jolie! We’ve got care package for students, campers, patients and vampers. Check us out!

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photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/adach/14091221332/”>www.adachphoto.wix.com/portfolio</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>

  • Attitude is everything. Diane von Furstenberg

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Executive Toys: All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy!

all work and no play makes jack a dull boyNeed a gift for a recent college graduate who might be having trouble adjusting to life in a cubicle? Why not create a work day care package to make his or her working life a little more fun? May we suggest the following practical yet playful items:

  • Mr Snot Water Bottle: We all know how important it is to stay hydrated!
  • Borrow My Pens: This set of 8 HILARIOUS pens must been read to be funny executive toyappreciated. If you get nothing else, get these!
  • Bull Shit Button: This perennial favorite is so necessary.
  • The Razzer: This old timer classic Bronx cheer devise is a perfect way to say,”You idea sucks” with with a smile!
  • Instant Excuse Ball: Missed a deadline? 20 solid excuses that might just work!
  • The Daily Mood:  47 modern emoticon answers to the age old question,”How are you doing today?” in a snazzy flip book.
  • Desk Top Corn Hole: Never grow up! This fine replication of the classic corn hole for the officebackyard game is a satisfying substitution for the real thing!
  • Calendar: It is not always easy to know what day it is! Writing checks are a thing of the past, watches are few and far between. A calendar is a necessity so make it fun!
  • A few other ideas: How about a back scratcher, or a pair of thick plastic nerd glasses, or some money tissues?

Mirth in a Box sells lots of good gifts that are funny! Create for own gift box bullshitor send one of our pre made care packages! Confused? Call us for suggestions at 203 292 9290 or the direct line to Gay Gasser 203 339 1799.

Wow! I love that typewriter! What a perfect picture for this post! Thanks, Swanksalot! Check out his Flickr photos!

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Tell These Sexist Jokes and Stay Single Forever!

Even if you catch the bouquet or snag the garter at the next wedding daywedding you attend, you are sure to stay unattached if you tell these jokes!

  • Why is marriage is like a violin? 

After all the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.
  • Why does the brides wear white at her wedding?
 So the couple’s dishwasher will match the fridge and stove!
  • What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife!
  • Why don’t men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence!
  • Why do bachelors like smart women? Opposites attract!
  • Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends!

Ouch!

Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages and gifts. Send one today!

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It’s a Girl! Quotes About Daughters

My darling daughter is about to have her own daughter. I am ridiculously psyched. Here’s 2 little girlsa few appropriate quotes and some incredible photos:

  • What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and everything nice, that’s what little girls are made of. Really old saying that my my mother cross stitched on a pillow!
  • To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter.  Euripides
  • A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life.  Irish girl with green backgroundProverb
  • Mothers and daughters are closest, when daughters become mothers.  Anonymous
  • Clever father, clever daughter; clever mother, clever son.  Russian Proverb
  • Of all the haunting moments of motherhood, few rank with hearing your own words come out of your daughter’s mouth.  Victoria Secunda
  • We’ve begun to raise daughters more like sons, but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters.  Gloria Steinem
  • Good daughters make good mothers. Abigail G. Whittlesey
  • What I wanted most for my daughter was that she be mother and childable to soar confidently in her own sky, whatever that may be. Helen Claes
  • I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. You’ve got to kick ass. Maya Angelou

You’re the best, Liz!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for girls, boys and grownups!

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Refrigerated Condiments Fed Up with Mustard

ketchup catsupKetchup, Mayonnaise and Relish are joined in an effort to clear up valuable shelf space taken up by the mustards. “It’s absolutely ridiculous. Why should anyone own more than one type of mustard?” Ketchup kvetched. Mayonnaise added, “In my home fridge we have yellow mustard, brown mustard, grainy mustard, Dijon mustard and horseradish mustard. It’suncanny.”                                                                                                                                    The American Institute of Condiments (AIC) data indicates that ketchup (spelled any way) and mayonnaise, combined with relish, horseradish, pickle vegetables, as well as the ethnic condiments (chutneys and the like) squeeze in to 11 cubic inches of  refrigerator space while the mustards spread out on twice that. condimentsWe asked Mr Dijon Mustard to comment on the accusation and got a chili reception. “Pfft! Somebody has a chip on her shoulder!” Ms. Hot and Spicy Mustard could barely contain herself and her words were peppered with indignation,”Mayo suggest their brains are past the due dates? Butter toss them out!” Whole milk added,”I wish they would bottle up their bickering. It make my insides curdle”. Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/higgott/2796627482/”>jiggott</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a> photo credit: <a href=”https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevewilhelm/28105434/”>Steve Wilhelm</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>cc</a>

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Tree Jokes: Earthy Humor

Can you be-leaf these jokes? They are very poplar with Earth Day Celebrants. Fir sure!

  • What happens when you cross a genius with a conifer? Albert PineStein!sycamore trees
  • How can one recognize a dogwood when it is not in bloom? By its bark!
  • Why wouldn’t the tree play checkers? He was a chess-nut tree!
  • What did the tree wear to the pool? Its swimming trunks!
  • What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
  • What did the beaver say to the tree? It’s been nice gnawing you!
  • What do you tell a rain forest that is about to be cut down? Run, Forest, Run!
  • How do trees get on to the internet? They log in!

Happy Earth Day!

Mirth in a Box had fun and unusual care packages. We’re have some great new camp care packages coming this summer!

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Here Comes the Bride! Funny Quotes About Love and Marriage

  • My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney The secret to a happy marriageDangerfield
  • I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,”There’s water in the carburetor!” I said,”Where’s the car?” She said, “In the lake!” Henny Youngman
  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. George Burns
  • A good wife forgives her husband when she is wrong. Milton Berle
  • By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Socrates
  • Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin

How many weddings will you be attending this month?

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. Perfect for college students, summer campers and hospital patients! 

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Just Paid Your Taxes? These Jokes are for You!

  • What’s the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole empty walletnamed after him!
  • What did the tax accountant do to liven up the office party? He stayed home!
  • Did you hear about the cannibal tax accountant? 
She charges an arm and a leg!
  • What’s the difference between tax avoidance & tax evasion? Jail!
  • What’s the difference between a fine and a tax? A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  • What’s the difference between the short and long income tax forms? If you use the short form, the government gets your money. If you use the long form, the accountant gets your money.
  • What do tax collectors use for birth control? Their personalities!
  • What’s the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? A taxidermist takes only your skin!
  • What the difference between a Rottweiler and a tax collector? A Rottweiler eventually lets go!
  • Where do homeless accountants live? In a tax shelter!
  • What do tax accountants do to liven up their office party?
 Invite a Funeral Director!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages!

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The 10 Best “Guy Walks in to a Bar” Jokes

comedy nightI’ve been collecting these jokes for years. These are my absolute favorites. Today. Which are yours?

  1. A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender says,’Why the long face?”
  2. A Frenchman walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, “Where did you get that thing?” The parrot replies, “In France, there are millions of them!”
  3. Bacon and eggs walk into a bar and order a beer. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
  4. Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says, “I think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says, “I think I’ll have an H2O too” — and he died.beer
  5. A termite walks in to a bar and says,” !s the bar tender here?”
  6. Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks if he wants a drink. “I think not,” Descartes says. And then he disappears.
  7. A guy walks into a bar and sits down. Before he can order, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says, “Hey, you’re a handsome guy!” The man ignores the bowl of pretzels, and orders a craft beer. The bowl of pretzels then says, “Ooooh, an IPA! Great choice! You’re a smart man.” The guy says to the bartender, “What the heck! This bowl of pretzels keeps talking to me!” The bartender says, “Don’t worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary.”
  8. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says:  “Five beers, please.”
  9. A guy with dyslexia walks in to a bra.
  10. A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk in to a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of a joke?”

Do you have a  favorite “A Guy Walks in to a Bar” joke?

Mirth in a Box loves good fun that is funny! We try to make our care packages playful and practical!

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