Psychology Jokes…How Do These Make you Feel?

Did you know that, according to the Princeton Review, Psychology is the second most popular major? Here’s some jokes for you:

      • Pavlov is drinking a beer with friends. A phone rings. He jumps up and Pavlov conditioningshouts, “Crap, I forgot to feed the dog!”
      • How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one as long as the light bulb wants to change!
      • How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one! He holds it in place and the world revolves around him!
      • It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they are always taking things sigmund freudliterally.
      • A guy walks into a bar and sits down. Before he can order, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says “Hey, you’re a handsome guy!” The man ignores the bowl of pretzels, and orders a craft beer. The bowl of pretzels then says, “Ooooh, an IPA! Great choice! You’re a smart man.” The guy says to the bartender, “What the heck! This bowl of pretzels keeps talking to me!” The bartender says, “Don’t worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary.”

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Best Medicine: Quotes to Cheer Up Your Sick Friend

Take two of these and call your doctor in the morning!sick woman with thermometer

  • It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like. Jackie Mason
  • Be careful about reading health books.  You may die of a misprint.  Mark Twain
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Redd Foxx
  • If I’d known I was going to live so long, I’d have taken better care of myself.  Leon Eldred
  • Learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. Bill Walton
  • A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.  Irish Proverb


Boom!

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Happy Hump Day Dance Videos!

These crazy dance videos will help you get through the longest day of the week, Wednesday:

First a little something from “Dancing With The Stars” contestant, Alfonso Ribiero’s past:

Next a few cringe-worthy videos from YouTube:

Cowboy Hip Hop (instructional video)

Guy in Speedo Rocking Jazzercise

Dancing With Kim’s Totally Rad 80′s Dances (beyond embarrassing)

Time for real dancing!

My favorite tap dancer, Gregory Hines, with Steve Martin:

OK. Maybe I like Savion Glover a bit more. Check this out!
I include that incredible Under Armor commercial featuring ballerina, Misty Copeland:

Send me your favorite dance videos! Please!bad dancers

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Blonde Jokes?

Oh really? I thought these went out with the 70’s but it has recently come to my attentionmarilun Monroe that blonde jokes are alive and well. I might add that 3 of my favorite blondes are men-my oldest son and my 2 cousins.

    • How do you tell a blonde has been at the computer? There is cheese in front of the mouse!
    • What did the blonde name his pet zebra? Spot!
    • What do you call eight blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes!
    • Why was the blonde excited when he finished the jigsaw puzzle in 6 months? Because the box said 4-6 years!
    • What do smart blondes and UFO’s have in common? You hear about them but never see them!
    • What is a blonde’s idea of natural childbirth? No make up!
    • What did the blonde say to her doctor when she found out she was pregnant? “Is it mine?”
    • What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

Alex Berg UCBEhhhhhh…… seem to be aimed at blonde women! No wonder we rarely hear blonde jokes any more!

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International Eat An Apple Day Tomorrow, September 20th!

Did you know that the third Saturday of September is ‘International Eat An Apple an apple a dayDay’? Well I sure did not know this! Here’s a bushel of apple quotes for you AND a really old song for your listening pleasure….and a recipe if you still have an appetite after listening to those sacchariney lyrics!

  • Why not upset the apple cart? If you don’t the apples will rot anyway. Frank A. Clark
  • An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Proverb
  • An apple never falls far from the tree. Proverb
  • One bad apple spoils the bunch. Proverb (see video below!)
  • In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. William Somerset Maugham
  • Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. Martin Luther
  • Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified? Chuck Palahniuk
  • The sweeter the apple, the blacker the core. Scratch a lover and find a foe! Dorothy Parker
  • A goodly apple rotten at the heart: O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath. William Shakespeare
  • Adam ate the apple and out teeth still ache. Hungarian Proverb

Keeping with the apple theme, here’s the Osmond Brothers singing “One Bad Apple”

basket of applesPlain old apple doesn’t float your boat? Here’s a recipe for an apple Sage and Cheddar Frittata from one of my favorite food bloggers, Emma Frisch: Apple, Sage And Cheddar Frittata Recipe. Yep! That Emma from America’s Next Food Network Star! http://www.emmafrisch.com/2012/10/apple-sage-and-cheddar-frittata.html

Mirth in a Box, sadly, does not sell apples but we do sell some fantastic care packages! Send one today!

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Prometheus Voices A Concern by Alex Berg

"Griepenkerl- Theft of Fire" by Christian Griepenkerl - found online [2], James Steakley. Licensed under Public domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Griepenkerl-_Theft_of_Fire.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Griepenkerl-_Theft_of_Fire.jpg

“Griepenkerl- Theft of Fire” by Christian Griepenkerl

Zeus? Can we talk for a second about this punishment you’ve meted out for me? And, before I begin, I am sorry about the whole giving fire to mankind thing. I didn’t think you’d take it like you did, and I know you’re upset, so I’m not going to sit here and butt heads with you about whether or not I should be chained to this mountain for 30,000 years, having my eternally regenerating liver pecked out daily by Ethon the giant eagle-monster. I know I’ll lose that argument, so I’m not even going to try. I just wanted to voice what I feel is a legitimate concern: I feel that my continual lack of a liver may have a deleterious effect on my health.

I don’t know how much you know about livers, Zeus, but I’m sure you can

Dirck_van_Baburen,_Prometheus_Being_Chained_by_Vulcan_Rijksmuseum,_Amsterdam

Prometheus Being Chained by Vulcan-Dirck van Baburen

appreciate the fact that it’s a major organ. It plays a major role in metabolism. Now, I know that since I’ve been chained to this rock I haven’t been eating as much as I used to, so my need to have an organ which secretes bile to help break down fats is admittedly diminished. However, the liver serves many functions beyond the aiding of digestion, including but not limited to the conversion of ammonia to urea and breaking down hemoglobin. These are necessary processes that all bodies must carry out, and I fear that my liver simply can’t do them while Ethon the giant eagle-monster is pecking it out.

Besides, I stand at a constant risk of infection. Even with Deucalion faithfully tending to my liver-wound every day, my innards are being continually exposed to eagle bacteria and the outside world. The resulting infection may very well trigger a hepatitis attack or primary sclerosing cholangitis. Despite the fact that I will regrow a new liver free of these diseases as soon as my current one was been eaten, the liver’s importance in the digestive system ensures that the systemic damages caused by these maladies may plague me for some time to come. I understand that you’re upset with me, but do you really want to live with the guilt of being responsible for giving a titan biliary cirrhosis? I don’t think that you do.

ZeusMaybe I should have said something sooner, but if- just for the sake of my liver- you could alter my punishment ever so slightly. If you just want me to experience terrible pain day in and day out, fine. I’ll regenerate whatever that lousy eagle eats, so it shouldn’t matter. Have Ethon eat off all of my toes, for instance. Or my fingers. Heck, he can even eat my nose, ears, and lips for all I care, but my liver is too important of an organ to be toyed with so lightly. For that matter, so are my heart and lungs. Frankly, I’d prefer if all of my internal organs could be put on the “do not eat” list. Thanks.

Or, if you really insist on having my liver removed over and over again, why don’t we find a better way to do it so that we can give the old livers to people who need transplants? I’m sure that there’s scores of hemochromatosis and hepatocellular carcinoma sufferers out there who’d like to have a titan’s liver in place of their own. This is just wasteful. Ethon doesn’t even care for the taste of liver. He told me. Well, just a thought. It might help people remember you as “Zeus, bringer of livers to the ill” instead of “Zeus, who occasionally takes human form to seduce temple virgins.” Just a thought.

Tell you what- I’ll let you sleep on it. You don’t need to make a decision one way or the other right now, but mull it over tonight and see how you feel about it in the morning. When you figure out what you want to do, just let me know. I’ll be right here- chained to the side of Mount Caucasus, screaming and writhing in agony as my tender liver is deftly pecked out of my side. And hey, Zeus- thanks for listening.

This post pilfered from Alex Berg’s old blog, Microanalysis.

Can’t exactly remember the myth of Prometheus? Here’s a short version.

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It’s Talk Like A Pirate Day! Friday Sept 19, 2014

Yep! Friday is  “Talk Like A Pirate Day” once again. Here’s a treasuretalk like a piratetrove of pirate jokes:

  • What is a pirate’s favorite vegetable? Arrrrrugala!
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball play? A hook shot!
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite fish? A goldfish!
  • What do pirates wear in the winter? Long Johns!
  • What is a pirate’s favorite subject?
Arrrrrrt!
  • Why did the pirate stay in the head for so long? Because he had the ships!
  •  Why do pirates wear eye patches? Because they can’t afford iPads!
  • Which movies do pirates like best? Arrrrrgh rated ones!
  • How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
A buccaneer!
  • What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?  High Seas!
  • Which kind of ships give pirates the most trouble? Relationships!

Care to know the history of this auspicious day? Read the official story from TalkLikeaPirate.com

Here’s a very interesting article on Pirates in Literature from The New York Review if Books.

Mirth in a Box sells super fun care packages for pirates, land lubbers and everyone else!

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6 Great Quotes About College

  • There isn’t a child who hasn’t gone out into the brave new world who Einstein College Quoteeventually doesn’t return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.  Art Buchwald
  • Without education we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
 G.K. Chesterson
  • A university is a college with a stadium seating over 40,000. Leonard L. Levinson
  • A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.  Theodore Roosevelt
  • The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet. Aristotle
  • If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education. go to the library. Frank Zappa

Did you know that Mirth in a Box sells funny and unusual care packages for college students? Well, we sure do! Check us out!

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Get an A+ in Study Posture!

bad study positions

No! No! No!

Improper posture for prolonged periods of time while studying (or playing video games!) can cause a host of physiological problems including neck & back pain, brain fog, heart disease, varicose veins and even increased insulin levels.

proper_ergonomicsTips for improving your posture while studying:

  1. Get off the couch – Slumping over your computer while on the couch or futon causes unnecessary stress on your spine. Unstable surfaces like couch cushions don’t provide the proper support for your pelvis.
  2. Use the rule of 90/90 – While sitting at a table or desk, you should sit with your knees at a 90 degree angle, and your hips at a 90 degree angle. Using an exercise ball instead of a chair can help encourage this position, while simultaneously working on your core – also perfect for helping to prevent the dreaded freshman 15!

    Bad_Posture

    No way!!!!

  3. Sit up straight – your shoulders should be pushed back and directly over those hips. Your ears should line up directly over your shoulders.
  4. Check your computer screen height – If you’re using a computer, the screen should be about an arm’s length in front of you at eye level. If you’re reading from a book and taking notes, prop up the book on a stand so you’re not constantly looking down.

Bonus tip: Take breaks at least once every hour! Get up and take a walk around your dorm or the library – it’s a great way to stay focused longer AND meet some new friends! There are some great computer and phone apps that remind you to take breaks like Stand Up!   or StandApp

Dr Cristina Poulos is a chiropractor at Stamford Balance in Stamford, CT. Gee thanks for these great tips! Think I need to get out of some of these positions too!

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5 Classic Knock Knock Jokes

Someone asked me to list my 5 favorite Knock Knock jokes. These made the cut:

Knock Knock!vintage front door
Who’s there?
Madame.
Madame who?
Madame foot’s caught in the door!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo hoo.
Boo hoo who?
Aww don’t cry, its just a joke!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Eva!
Eva who?
Eva told you would you let me in?

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
Gesundheit! Sounds like you’re getting a cold!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Somebody too short to ring the doorbell!

Now it is your turn! Tell me your favorite Knock Knock jokes!

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