Oh Buoy! Tackling Fish Quotes!

Reel funny!

  • A fishing pole is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool on the other. 
Samuel fishingJohnson
  • Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
 Dave Barry
  • The fishing was good; it was the catching that was bad.  A.K. Best

  • There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with a fisherman?
Woody Allen
  • Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend.  Zenna Schaffer
  • If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.  Doug Larson

We’re fishing for more aquarian quotes! Maybe something more upscale?

Thanks to Tom Hart via Flickr for the photo!

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. Got a college student who needs some love? A friend who needs some cheer? We’ve got you covered!

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Mouth-Watering Recipes For Water Moccasins

The following recipes were taken from Snake Bites: Forkfuls For Forked Tongues, Snakeby A. Piscivorus; Reptile Publishing Syndicate (1983). Edited by Alex Berg.

Rat- Stuffed Rat

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup ground rat
  • 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
  • 2 tablespoons finely chopped carrotsRat stuffed rat
  • 2 tablespoons finely chopped celery
  • 1 clove chopped fresh garlic
  • 2 1/2 tablespoons fresh bread crumbs
  • 1 pinch ground black pepper to taste
  • 8 medium sized rats, cleaned and split lengthwise
  • 1 tablespoon bacon drippings

Directions

1. Preheat the oven broiler.

2. In a bowl, mix the ground rat, parsely carrots, celery, garlic, bread crumbs, and pepper.

3. Arrange the rats in a baking dish. Separate the skin from the fleshy underbelly of each rat, and stuff with equal amounts of the stuffing mixture. Brush with bacon drippings. Serve on a bed of mixed greens or baby spinach.

4. Broil the rats 7 minutes on each side in the preheated oven, or to a minimum internal temperature of 180 degrees farenheit (85 degrees celsius).

Note: For a heart-healthy alternative to bacon grease, mix 1 tablespoon olive oil with a generous pinch of salt.

Creamed Stork Eggs

Serves 4

IngredientsCreamed Stork Eggs

  • 8 stork eggs, stolen from the nest
  • 2 tablespoons butter
  • 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/4 cup grated Parmesean cheese
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Place eggs in a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring water to a boil and immediately remove from heat. Cover and let eggs stand in hot water for 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel, and chop.

2. Melt butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Whisk in flour; when thoroughly blended, slowly add milk, stirring constantly. Cook until thickened. Stir in cheese.

3. Pour sauce over chopped, boiled stork eggs.

Note: For those with a fang for spicier cuisine, try adding 2 tablespoons fresh venom to the sauce mixture just before pouring it over the eggs. It’ll add a zest you won’t soon forget!

Alex Berg is a graduate of Long Lake Camp for the Arts. It was during his 5 summer at Long Lake that he learned the art of improvisation. Alex had been the artistic director of the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles.

Alex’s mother sent him many care packages and today she runs Mirth in a Box, the best place to find camp care packages that will entertain and inspire your kids while they are at camp. Check us out at www.MirthinaBox.com!

Thanks to Dawgman & Foodtrails for the pictures via Flickr.com.

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Why Don’t Sharks Attack Lawyers? Fish Jokes

Professional courtesy!fish

    • Why did Batman and Robin stop fishing together? Robin ate all the worms!
    • What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh!
    • What did the fish say when he swam in to a wall? Damn!
    • What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships!
    • How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!

catch of the day

  • How do you keep a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose!
  • What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish!

Thank you Gideon via Flickr.com for the great fresh fish photo! We also thank Sean Maurik for his big catch photo.

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My 6 Favorite Vegetable Gardening Quotes

My vegetable garden is a laughable mess of weeds, shade-stunted plants, and deer-eaten stumps. Next year!

  • Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables Tomatoes on the Vinesmelled as good as bacon.  Doug Larson
  • It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
 Lewis Grizzard
  • A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising
and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables,
nothing, nothing but vegetables.
 Gertrude Stein
  • An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. Will Rogers
  • Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose
 when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
 Fran Lebowitz
  • Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes.  Anonymous

Got any favorite vegetable gardening quotes?

Mirth in a Box sells fun care packages for college students, summer campers and people who need some good cheer!

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Handling The Dog Days of Summer: A Practical Guide

The “Dog Days” is a term that refers the hottest, most oppressive days of summer. When Bo Obamathis term was first coined (2000 years ago) most dogs were pretty much the same. There are over 500 breeds of dogs now and innumerable mixed breeds. Do you know how to handle a Golden Doodle Day? Do you know what activity best suits a terrier day? Here’s some help:

  • Labrador Days- Laid back and slow-paced. Why not rock on the porch and read a good book?
  • Daschund Days- Very long in the middle. Drink lots of ice coffee to stay awake!
  • Rottweiler Days-These are the days when you feel hot, sweaty and short-fused. Get out the Slip and Slide!
  • dogGerman Shepard Days- Well-planned, productive days. Perhaps good days to raise a barn or clean out closets.
  • Pug Days- One of those days when everything seems funny. Great day throw a party!
  • Terrier Days- Frenetic and action-packed days. Best to go to an amusement park
  • Poodle Days- Absolutely perfect days! Enjoy feeling happy, intelligent, pampered & playful!
  • Portuguese Water Dog Days - Hot, humid days. Great day to spend at a lake dogswimming!
  • Mastiff Days- Hot, lumbering, sweaty much like the fifth day of a heat wave in NYC. Stay well hydrated and seek out air conditioning!
  • Greyhound Days- These days go by way too quickly. Make a list and stick to it!
  • Mixed breed- Usually a Friday. Work in the morning, golf in the afternoon, happy hour early evening, dinner and a movie at night.

How do you handle the dog days of summer?

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages. Need to send something to your kid at camp? Have a student going off to college? Want to cheer up a sick friend? Visit Mirth in a Box for the best pre made and custom care packages.

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Feline Funnies: Cat Jokes

Felix the Cat sends his love:Cat and Mouse

    • What do you call a pile of kittens? A Meowtain!
    • Why did the cat run away fro the tree? She was afraid of the bark!
    • Why don’t cats like to shop on line? They prefer a cat-alogue (grrrr)!
    • Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarns? She had a litter of mittens!
    • Why was the cat so grouchy? He was in a bad mewd!

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-black-white-cat-image18845341

  • Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
  • What did the lion say after he ate the comedian? “Ewww. He tasted funny!”
  • What do you call a lion that ate your mother’s sister? An aunt-eater!
  • Why was the cat so small? He only drank condensed milk!
  • How do lions greet the other animals in the savannah? “Pleased to eat you!”

Mirth in a Box sells fun, premade care packages! Want to build your own custom care package? Gee whiz! We can help you with that! Check out our Build Your Own section!

 

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Quotes for Dog Lovers

I’ve been knee deep in dogs lately and loving it (they are sleeping right Laughing Bulldognow). Here’s a apt lines about dogs from some of my favorite funny people:

      • You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you’re RIGHT! I NEVER would’ve thought of that!’
 Dave Barry
      • I spilled spot remover on my dog. He’s gone now. Steven Wright

Old Flatulent dog

        • If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one. Andy Rooney
        • My dog is half pit bull, half poodle. Not much of a watchdog, but a vicious gossip! Craig Shoemaker
        • Asthma doesn’t seem to bother me any more unless I’m around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar. Steve Allen
        • I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. Wendy Liebman
        • My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpets or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner
        • If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog. George Bernard Shaw

Do you have a dog? Or two? I’m writing this with a standard poodle at my feet and a terrier/daschund mix on my lap.

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How to Make Sure Your Camp Care Package Arrives On Time!

Deluxe Camp Care PackageAre you sending off your first camp care package? Here’s few tips to avoid making rookie errors:

  1. Double check the camp address! Many camps have winter and summer addresses. Other camps only use a post office box for packages. Better yet, triple check that address!
  2. Give at least one extra day for delivery within the camp! If you need the package to arrive on a specific day….give a day or 2 leeway for the intracamp distribution. A typical scenario might be: camp picks up the mail in the morning, checks packages for contraband (really!) during the afternoon, then delivers to the camper before dinner. So that package that arrives at the PO Box in the afternoon, will not get to the child until the following day!
  3. USPS padded envelope camp care packageRead the care package policy carefully! More and more camps are altering those policies, so even if daily large packages were allowed last year, this year the camp could be limiting packages to once a week or only allowing flat packages.
  4. Include something the whole cabin can enjoy! A pack of embroidery floss for friendship bracelets, a card game, a Frisbee, water balloons…..We like to include ear plugs for the counselors!
  5. Respect your child’s camp’s taboo list! Fireworks, food, and electronics are at the top of the banned items list. Other no no’s frequently mentioned are gun-shaped objects (like water pistols) and cash.
  6. Don’t forget the gift message! Short and sweet is best!
  7. Expect UPS and USPS weather and remote location delays! If there are tornadoes in the Midwest, your package could be stuck in Saint Louis! If you child’s camp is on an island or in a remote location, even Priority Express could take an extra  day or 2!

Now that you have your merit badge in sending a camp care package, go out and send some love to your favorite camper today!

Camp directors and counselors, do you have any other suggestions?

Mirth in a Box is an online gift and care package company devoted to amusement, hilarity and making people laugh.  Send someone a camp care package from Mirth in a Box when the thought counts but the fun counts even more!

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PG Jokes to Send to Your Kid at Summer Camp

Have you sent your child off to summer camp? Are you feeling guilty that you are enjoying Packing for Summer Campthe quiet house? Need to send you camper some letters but can’t think of what to say (other than how much fun you are having)?

Here’s some links to carefully curated jokes that are just right to send your kid at camp:

Frog

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Happy Fourth of July! A Few Funny Quotes

4th of july foreworksI came across a few funny quotes about the 4th of July while I was looking for a new potato salad recipe. Enjoy!

  • Dear America, Happy Independence Day and thanks for running the world since we retired (China wants the job but hang in there). Luv, England Ricky Gervais
  • I am proud to be an American because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread. Bill Cosby
  • Just a reminder that fireworks look even more amazing when you are not constantly checking your iPhone. Someecards
  • If you buy your July 4th supplies at Walmart, you can celebrate our independence from Britain and dependence on China at the same time. Andy Borowitz
  • You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4th, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness.  You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.  Erma Bombeck

And my favorite which is attributed( by my grandma but I think it is true) to John Hancock after signing the Declaration of Independence:

There. I guess King George will be able to read that!

John Hancock

Mirth in a Box sells fun and unusual care packages for college students, summer campers or anyone who needs to be cheered up!

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